Difference between with who and with whom?
Who or whom? If you’re like most English speakers, you know that there’s a difference between these pronouns, but you aren’t sure what that difference is. After reading this article, you may conclude that knowing when to use which one is not as difficult as you thought.
In a sentence, who is used as a subject. Let’s look at a couple of examples:
Whom is used as the object of a verb or preposition. Consider these examples:
How can you tell when your pronoun is the object of a verb or preposition? Try substituting the subjective-case pronoun he, she, or they for who or whom And then try substituting the objective-case pronoun him, her, or them. If he, she, or they fits, you should use the subjective option: who. If him, her, or them fits, you should use the objective option: whom. Keep in mind that you may have to temporarily rearrange the sentence a bit while you test it.
Try substituting she and her: She ate my sandwich. Her ate my sandwich. Because the pronoun is the subject of this sentence, the subjective he sounds right and her doesn’t. That means the word you want is the subjective who.
Let’s look at another:
Before we can try substituting they and them here, we need to notice something about this sentence: it’s interrogative, meaning it’s a question, and as with many interrogative sentences, the subject, I, doesn’t come at the beginning but in the middle. Turning it into a declarative sentence by moving the subject to the beginning and making it a statement instead of a question will make it easier to tell which pronoun case sounds more natural: I should talk to they. I should talk to them. The objective them sounds right, so the word you need is the objective one: whom.
You can also use questions to determine when to use who and when to use whom. Are you using the pronoun to talk about someone who is doing something?
Yes, you are talking about someone doing something; the pronoun refers to the subject of the second sentence, Gina, so use who in your question.
Now look at these sentences:
In this case, we are not using the pronoun to refer to the subject of the sentences, the person doing something (Gina), but to refer to the person she is doing something for: Charlie. In other words, Charlie is the direct object of the verb pick up in the second sentence, so we know to use the objective whom in the question.
If you think the whom examples sound awkward or fussy, you are not alone. Many people don’t use whom in casual speech or writing. Others use it only in well-established phrases such as “to whom it may concern.” Some people never use it at all. It’s not unusual, or even incorrect in many contexts, to hear sentences like these:
The Rule: Who functions as a subject, while whom functions as an object. Use who when the word is performing the action. Use whom when it is receiving the action.
Quiz: Select “who” or “whom” for each sentence
Click here to view the answer key.
