How do you maintain equal effort in friendships?

I think the secret is communication. I tell my friends directly, “Hey, I feel like I’m putting more effort, can we balance this?” Most true friends adjust. Equal effort is not about counting who did what, but about feeling respected. If I feel heard, supported, and cared for, then the effort feels equal even if the actions look different.

For me, equal effort doesn’t mean doing the same actions, but showing the same care. If I always text first and they never do, I start feeling unvalued. So, I sometimes stop reaching out to see if they will initiate. Friendship is like watering a plant—both people must give time and attention. If only one waters it, the plant still dies.

Honestly, it’s impossible to always keep it perfectly equal. Sometimes one friend gives more because the other is struggling, and later the roles reverse. That’s natural. What matters is that, over time, both give love and effort. So, I don’t measure it daily but look at the bigger picture.