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Relationship anxiety can show up in different ways.

Most people feel a little insecure about their relationship at some point, especially in the early stages of dating and forming a commitment. This isn’t unusual, so you generally don’t need to feel concerned about passing doubts or fears, especially if they don’t affect you too much.

But these anxious thoughts sometimes grow and creep into your daily life.

Here’s a look at some potential signs of relationship anxiety:

“The most common expression of relationship anxiety relates to underlying questions of ‘Do I matter?’ or ‘Are you there for me?'” Robertson explains. “This speaks to a fundamental need to connect, belong, and feel secure in a partnership.”

For example, you might worry that:

You’ve exchanged I love you’s (or maybe just I really, really like you’s). They always seem happy to see you and make kind gestures, like bringing you lunch or walking out of their way to see you home.

But you still can’t shake the nagging doubt: “They don’t really love me.”

Maybe they’re slow to respond to physical affection. Or they don’t reply to texts for several hours — even a day. When they suddenly seem a little distant, you wonder if their feelings have changed.

Everyone feels this way from time to time, but these worries can become a fixation if you have relationship anxiety.

A good relationship can make you feel loved, secure, and happy. It’s perfectly normal to want to hold on to these feelings and hope nothing happens to disrupt the relationship.

But these thoughts can sometimes transform into a persistent fear of your partner leaving you.

This anxiety can become problematic when you adjust your behavior in order to secure their continued affection.

For example, you might:

Relationship anxiety can make you question whether you and your partner are truly compatible, even when things are going great in the relationship. You might also question whether you’re actually happy or if you just think you are.

In response, you might start focusing your attention on minor differences — they love punk music but you’re more of a folk-rock person — and overemphasize their importance.

Sabotaging behaviors can have roots in relationship anxiety.

You may not do these things intentionally, but the underlying goal — whether you realize it or not — is usually to determine how much your partner cares.

You might believe, for example, that resisting your efforts to push them away proves they really do love you.

But, Robertson points out, it’s very hard for your partner to pick up on this underlying motive.

A tendency to overthink your partner’s words and actions can also suggest relationship anxiety.

Maybe they don’t like to hold hands. Or, when you take the plunge and move in together, they insist on keeping all their old furniture.

Sure, these could all be signs of a potential issue. But it’s more likely that they have sweaty hands or just really love that living room set.

Still not sure if you’re dealing with relationship anxiety?

Take a step back and ask yourself: “Am I spending more time worrying about this relationship than enjoying it?”

During rough patches, this might be the case. But if you feel this way more often than not, you’re probably dealing with some relationship anxiety.

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1. Click the PivotTable.
2. On the Options tab, in the Tools group, click Formulas, and then click Calculated Field.
3. In the Name box, select the calculated field for which you want to change the formula.
4. In the Formula box, edit the formula.
5. Click Modify.