Stephan Payant

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In addition, acting in these roles can make family members feel bad. The rescuer may try to make things better, but they may prevent the victim and persecutor from resolving a real conflict that needs to be addressed. The persecutor may be raising a valid concern that needs to be addressed, but he does it in a way that is intolerable to the family.

The victim has become so defined by his pain and her hurt that neither she nor the other family members can see the power they have to change.

We need to understand the perspectives of all involved in healthy navigation through conflict. It is easy to fall for the "right and wrong" labels, but the issues at hand are not easy to categorize.

When we try to understand the perspective of others in the conflict, we can open up more possibilities for how the conflict will be resolved.

As he prepared to bless the oldest son, he couldn't see his sons with the naked eye because his eyes were dull. Rebekah wanted Jacob to receive the blessing.

Before the birth of their children, God told them that the older would serve the younger.

Rebekah gave birth to Jacob and Esau at 60 years old.

Jacob was a quiet farmer, and he was skilled at hunting. Rebekah favored Jacob.

The decision was made to bless his son, Esau. Rebekah made a decision and a counter move to respond to the plan.

She tricked Jacob into blessing him.

Jacob offered little resistance and capitulated to Rebekah.

The plan was for Jacob to be in the skins of goats. Jacob would be confused with his brother, who had a hairy body. Rebecca's plan worked out. Her clothes fooled him, and he lost his sight.

This tragic episode caused a lot of upheaval in the home.

Jacob was isolated from his family for years after the "blessing". He didn't see his mother again.

This family situation shows the dangers of family triangulations.

In this family drama, the persecutor was cast himself in the role, giving blessing against the prophecy. Jacob and Esau were victims. Rebekah is in the role of a Savior, allowing God's blessing and grace to fit the prophecy. Where is God in this confusion?

The triangulation requires the family to move through broken relationships and shattered trust to find a deeper appreciation of God.

If Rebekah and Isaac had talked about the plan to bless one son over the other, Jacob would not have left home.

If they had been able to talk, they might have realized that their relationship was more important than their father's. If they had held a family meeting to discuss the merit and impact of favoritism, the family would have grown together and continued to fulfill God's promise together.

All families have strengths and challenges, that's the underlying point. Family triangulations are not possible due to curses and evil, we believe that the presence of curses and evil would only make the triangulation more difficult. We suggest that triangulations can be lessened by exploring what it means to assume the triangulated role, and by helping the family realize that they are vulnerable, strong, and capable of altering the roles of triangulation.

There are five suggestions for a family to resolve painful triangles.

1 Follow God's example and love your children equally.

God doesn't have parents or children.

God loves his children equally. During and after our falls, God adores his children. Before, during and after our acts, God forgives us.

The sun shines on every human being because of God. Sin can separate us from God, but it doesn't separate God from us. God sent his Son into the universe and world, not just a family member. In order to realize the breadth of God's love, he would have to eliminate the triangles. Loving all children equally does not mean loving all children equally.

A love that reflects the love of God means that we show love based on our understanding of each of God's creations

There are 2. God will meet your needs.

"My God will give all our needs according to his wealth through Christ Jesus," says Philippians 4:19.

The apostle Paul acknowledges in the letter to the Apostles that God is supplying and will continue to supply our needs. He assures us that God will give us both material and spiritual needs. Families can avoid entering and being influenced by triangles if they trust that God will provide their needs. God will meet our needs no matter who we are in. A reframing of life situations that will strengthen the family to live in open and honest communication is critical to living healthy, non-triangulated lives.

When we trust God to meet our needs, we don't have to worry about filling a void in our lives.

3. Defend yourself.

We recommend that family members seek to understand the individual "I" in relation to the Most High God, as well as the family as a whole. Everyone becomes a healthy collective when we understand our individual oneness.

The divine union makes it impossible for anyone to hate or reject themselves. The need for triangulation is eliminated, the family can operate with a clear vision and mission, and space is created for reflection and expression of the family's true self. This becomes a gift to God and to all of his people. Families trying to advocate for each other (and develop healthy triangles) might agree to use the pinch theory, which states that (1) the more important relationships are, the more time they should spend sharing and clarifying expectations, and (2) the family contract with each other to address disrupted expectations, however small (Web, 2011).

There are 4. Your family members should be aware of insane schemes, triangles and limits.

Care-fronting is a concept that combines love and care with confrontation, lovingly, and corrects the person confronted with love, respect, and honor. This kind of confrontation can change triangulation into healthy alliances. Confrontation with care gives triangulated family members a unique lens for conflict and develops their capacities to see conflict as normal, normal, neutral and acceptable.

There are 5. Family affection is developed at home.

A family is united by Agape Love.

Agape Love does not refer to a particular individual, but rather points to God's love for all. We suggest that the family focus on storge love in order to help with the family drama. It is family love that thrives on generosity.

In ancient Greek, storge means love between family members. It includes the love of parents for their children, of children for their parents, and of children for their siblings. It is a triangulation.

The triangle is about using the love and connection in the family to heal and prosper the family. Families respond differently to positive, challenging, and stressful situations. However, focusing on love that is lovable, affectionate, boisterous, motherly, fatherly, brotherly, cohesive, competitive, devoted, affectionate, fierce, caring, nurturing, passionate, reserved, sentimental, tender, and warm will build and uphold the family. against the impulses of the insane triangles ("55 powerful words to describe a family"). Spending quality time, keeping the lines of communication open and respecting the differences of everyone in the family are some of the things that make this love possible.