What are husband rights in islam?

Praise be to Allaah.

Islam has enjoined upon the husband duties towards his wife, and vice versa, and among these duties are some which are shared by both husband and wife.

We will mention – by the help of Allaah – some of the texts of the Qur’aan and Sunnah which have to do with the duties of the spouses towards one another, quoting also from the commentaries and views of the scholars.

The wife has financial rights over her husband, which are the mahr (dowry), spending and accommodation.

She has non-financial rights, such as fair division between co-wives, being treated in a decent and reasonable manner, and not being treated in a harmful way by her husband.

We brothers need to realise that the one of the main reasons of Muslim women becoming part of the present day fitna of “Feminism” is a result of Muslim men abusing the rights given to women by Allah. We need to be more mindful of giving the rights to our women and in return get what we deserve.

This is the money to which the wife is entitled from her husband when the marriage contract is completed or when the marriage is consummated. It is a right which the man is obliged to pay to the woman. Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):

“And give to the women (whom you marry) their Mahr (obligatory bridal-money given by the husband to his wife at the time of marriage) with a good heart”

The prescription of the mahr demonstrates the seriousness and importance of the marriage-contract, and is a token of respect and honour to the woman.

The scholars of Islam are agreed that it is obligatory for husbands to spend on their wives, on the condition that the wife make herself available to her husband. If she refuses him or rebels, then she is not entitled to that spending.

The reason why it is obligatory to spend on her is that the woman is available only to her husband, because of the marriage contract, and she is not allowed to leave the marital home except with his permission. So he has to spend on her and provide for her, and this is in return for her making herself available to him for his pleasure.

What is meant by spending is providing what the wife needs of food and accommodation. She has the right to these things even if she is rich, because Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):

The Prophet ﷺ said to Hind bint ‘Utbah – the wife of Abu Sufyaan - "Abu Sufyan is a miserly man and I need to take some money of his wealth." The Prophet ﷺ said, "Take reasonably what is sufficient for you and your children" (Bukhari)

It was narrated from Jaabir that the Messenger of Allaah ﷺ said in his Farewell Sermon:

“Fear Allah concerning women! Verily you have taken them on the security of Allah, and intercourse with them has been made lawful unto you by words of Allah. You too have rights over them, and that they should not allow anyone to sit on your bed whom you do not like. But if they do that, you can chastise them but not severely. Their rights upon you are that you should provide them with food and clothing in a fitting manner” (Narrated by Muslim, 1218)

This is also one of the wife’s rights, which means that her husband should prepare for her accommodation according to his means and ability. Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):

“Lodge them (the divorced women) where you dwell, according to your means”

Important matters

Living with brother in law is not allowed.

The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) warned against the husband’s relatives who are not mahrams to the wife entering upon her. It was reported from ‘Uqbah ibn ‘Aamir that the Messenger of Allaah ﷺ said: “Beware of entering upon women.” A man from among the Ansaar said: “O Messenger of Allaah, what about the brother-in-law?” he ﷺ said: “The brother-in-law is death.” (Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 4934; Muslim, 2172).

Can the wife ask for a separate accommodation?

The wife has a right for a separate accommodation and if the husband can afford he should oblige. Click here and also click here for details. A few points to note from this…

The husband must have a good attitude towards his wife and be kind to her, and offer her everything that may soften her heart towards him, because Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):

The Messenger of Allaah ﷺ said: ‘Be kind to women.’”(Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 3153; Muslim, 1468).

He ﷺ enjoined kind treatment and honouring of one’s wife, and he described the best of people as those who are best to their wives. He ﷺ said: “The best of you are those who are the best to their wives, and I am the best of you to my wives.” (Narrated by al-Tirmidhi, 3895; Ibn Maajah, 1977; classed as saheeh by al-Albaani).

He ﷺ spoke some more beautiful words concerning kind treatment of one’s wife, stating that when the husband feeds his wife and puts a morsel of food in her mouth, he earns the reward of doing an act of charity. He ﷺ said, “You never spend anything but you will be rewarded for it, even the morsel of food that you lift to your wife’s mouth.” (Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 6352; Muslim, 1628).

There follow examples of the kind treatment of the Prophet ﷺ towards his wives – for he is the best example:

Spending quality time: Umm Salamah said: “I got my menses when I was lying with the Prophet ﷺ under a single woolen sheet. I slipped away and put on the clothes I usually wore for menstruation. The Messenger of Allaah ﷺ said to me, ‘Have you got your menses?’ I said, ‘Yes.’ Then he called me and made me lie with him under the same sheet.”

She said: And she told me that the Prophet ﷺ used to kiss her when he was fasting, and the Prophet ﷺ and I used to do ghusl to cleanse ourselves from janaabah from one vessel.(Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 316; Muslim, 296)

It was narrated from ‘Aa’ishah the Mother of the Believers (may Allaah be pleased with her) that the Messenger of Allaah ﷺ used to pray the night prayer and when he had finished his prayer, he would look, and if I was awake he would talk with me, and if I was asleep he would lie down. (al-Bukhaari)

Acknowledging and finding ways to make the wife have fun, ‘Aa’ishah said: ‘By Allaah, I saw the Messenger of Allaah ﷺ standing at the door of my apartment when the Abyssinians were playing with their spears in the Mosque of the Messenger of Allaah ﷺ. He covered me with his cloak so that I could watch their games, then he stood there for my sake until I was the one who had had enough. So you should appreciate the fact that young girls like to have fun.’” (Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 443; Muslim, 892)

*In class 6 we will learn about the different Languages of Love (what and how different people enjoy different things) and examples of the Prophet ﷺ using those with his wives.

Alllah says, “Men are the protectors and maintainers of women,…..” (Surah Nisa, Ayah 34)

This is one of the basic principles of Islam. Because harming others is haraam in the case of strangers, it is even more so in the case of harming one’s wife.

It was narrated from ‘Ubaadah ibn al-Saamit that the Messenger of Allaah ﷺ ruled, “There should be no harming nor reciprocating harm.” (Narrated by Ibn Maajah, 2340)

Not harming her, not only includes the physical harm, but husband's should make sure that she is not harmed psychologically. Unfortunately we see men exploiting the power bestowed by Allah upon them as a husband and abuse their wives with constant rejection, reviling, allowing his relatives to oppress her.

Some examples of how a while can be

This was covered in the previous class, but is mentioned here to reiterate the importance of this right of a woman over her husband. It is something that keeps the relation happy and healthy and saves her from the fitnah. So brothers should be mindful of giving this right to her knowing very well that if she is satisfied she will surely make it more pleasurable for him.

One of the rights that a wife has over her husband is that she and her co-wives should be treated equally, if the husband has other wives, with regard to nights spent with them, spending and clothing. (Polygyny will be covered in depth in Class 10)

The rights of the husband over his wife are among the greatest rights; indeed his rights over her are greater than her rights over him, because Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):

“And they (women) have rights (over their husbands as regards living expenses) similar (to those of their husbands) over them (as regards obedience and respect) to what is reasonable, but men have a degree (of responsibility) over them”

The Messenger of Allah ﷺ said, “If I were to command anyone to prostrate to anyone other than Allah, I would have commanded women to prostrate to their husbands. By the One in Whose hand is the soul of Muhammad, no woman can fulfil her duty towards Allah until she fulfils her duty towards her husband. If he asks her (for intimacy) even if she is on her camel saddle, she should not refuse.” (Ibn Majah, Classed as Sahih by Albani)

In another version of the hadeeth the Prophet ﷺ said, “If I were to instruct anyone to prostrate to anyone, I would have instructed women to prostrate to their husbands, because of the rights that Allah has given them over them.” (Abu Dawood, classed as Sahih by Albani)

SubhaanAllah and we see sisters raising their voices, being disrespectful to their husbands. The sisters should firstly realize the great rights Allah has given the husband over them and they should be submissive, obedient and respectful to them.

The sisters should also remember that pleasing the Husband is a way to Jannah. The Prophet ﷺ said:

The husband’s rights include:

Allaah has made the man a Qawwaam (protector and maintainer) of the woman by commanding, directing and taking care of her, just as guardians take care of their charges, by virtue of the physical and mental faculties that Allaah has given only to men and the financial obligations that He has enjoined upon them. Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):

“Men are the protectors and maintainers of women, because Allaah has made one of them to excel the other, and because they spend (to support them) from their means. Therefore the righteous women are obedient to Allaah and their husbands, and guard that which Allaah has ordered them to guard (their chastity and their husbands property) in the absence of their husbands.”

‘Ali ibn Abi Talhah said, narrating from Ibn ‘Abbaas: “Men are the protectors and maintainers of women” means, they are in charge of them, i.e., she should obey him in matters of obedience that Allaah has enjoined upon her, and obey him by treating his family well and taking care of his wealth. This was the view of Muqaatil, al-Saddi and al-Dahhaak.(Tafseer Ibn Katheer, 1/492).

The trait of a righteous woman is clear from this ayah, she obeys Allah and her husband.

One of the rights that the husband has over his wife is that he should be able to enjoy her (physically). If he marries a woman and she is able to have intercourse, she is obliged to submit herself to him according to the contract, if he asks her. That is after he gives her the immediate mahr, and gives her some time – two or three days, if she asks for that – to sort herself out, because that is something that she needs, and because that is not too long and is customary.

If a wife refuses to respond to her husband’s request for intercourse, she has done something haraam and has committed a major sin, unless she has a valid shar’i excuse such as menses, obligatory fasting, sickness, etc.

The Messenger of Allaah ﷺ said: ‘When a man calls his wife to his bed and she refuses, and he went to sleep angry with her, the angels will curse her until morning.’” (Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 3065; Muslim, 1436)

The Husband should also respond to the call for intercourse by his wife. It is not permissible for a man to forsake his wife and thus harm her, except in the case of nushooz (rebellion) and disobedience. But he is not committing a sin if he does not lie with her without intending to harm her. The curse mentioned in the hadeeth is specific for a wife.

In a hadeeth the Prophet ﷺ advised a companion who was fasting a lot and not having enough intercourse with his wife, he ﷺ said, “Do not do that! Observe the fast sometimes and also leave them (the fast) at other times; stand up for the prayer at night and also sleep at night. Your body has a right over you, your eyes have a right over you and your wife has a right over you” (Bukhari)

One of the rights that the husband has over his wife is that she should not permit anyone whom he dislikes to enter his house.

The Messenger of Allaah ﷺ said: “It is not permitted for a woman to fast when her husband is present without his permission, or to admit anyone into his house without his permission. And whatever she spends (in charity) of his wealth without his consent, ….” (Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 4899; Muslim, 1026)

This also includes the relatives of the wife, if the husband does not like them then she has to oblige. She can try and convince him to allow the relatives so that she can meet them (Mahrams only), but she has to obey the order whether or not the reason for the husband forbidding is right or not. He is answerable for his actions, the wife will be rewarded for patience but if the wife fights and let her relatives in without the consent of her husband then she is disobeying and is answerable to Allah for her actions.

It is a common thing to see women gathering and complaining about their husbands, this is something which is prohibited and very dangerous to indulge in.

Aboo Sa’eed al-Khudree, radiyallaahu ‘anhu, said, “The Messenger of Allaah ﷺ went out to the prayer-ground for the (prayer of) Adhaa or Fitr, and he passed by the women and said, ‘O women! Give in charity,for I have been shown that you shall be the majority of the people of the Fire .’ So they asked, ‘Why is that, 0 Messenger of Allaah?’ He replied, ‘You curse frequently and are ungrateful to your husbands.‘” (Bukhari)

Just like it is a right of a wife that the husband does not talk ill of her in front of others, the wife more so is obliged to protect the honor of her husband and not be the source of people disrespecting him.

A point to note, when the sisters complain about their husbands to their family members, they naturally develop an ill feeling against him and he looses respect in their eyes, you being the wife will forgive him later, but your relatives do not let go. This can have really bad repercussions: fights between families, husband and wives fighting with regards to their respective families, husband forbidding the wife from meeting her relatives, the wife disobeying the husband are just a few examples of the problems this can cause.

One of the rights of the husband over his wife is that she should not go out of the house except with his permission.

The husband has the right to discipline his wife if she disobeys him in something good, not if she disobeys him in something sinful, because Allaah has enjoined disciplining women by forsaking them in bed and by hitting them, when they do not obey.

The evidence that it is permissible to discipline one's wife includes the aayahs (interpretation of the meaning):

Ibn Katheer said: Qutaadah said: you should command them to obey Allaah, and forbid them to disobey Allaah; you should be in charge of them in accordance with the command of Allaah, and instruct them to follow the commands of Allaah, and help them to do so. If you see any act of disobedience towards Allaah, then stop them from doing it and rebuke them for that.

This was also the view of al-Dahhaak and Muqaatil: that the duty of the Muslim is to teach his family, including his relatives and his slaves, that which Allaah has enjoined upon them and that which He has forbidden them. (Tafseer Ibn Katheer, 4/392)

A beautiful hadeeth about how the wife reacts when the Husband is angry with her, the Messenger of Allaah ﷺ said, “Your women from the people of Paradise are the beloved and fertile, the one who is an asset to her husband, who if her husband becomes angry- comes and places her hand in the hand of her husband and says, ‘I will not taste sleep until you are pleased (with me). “ (Bukhari)

May Allah grant all men such wives and all women such patience and righteous men who rightly deserve such honorable treatment.

First of all by carrying out what is required in his house, such as bringing up and educating the children, preparing the meals and the beds and so on.

Shaykh al-Islam Ibn Taymiyah said: She is obliged to serve her husband according to what is reasonable among people of similar standing. That varies according to circumstances: the way in which a Bedouin woman serves (her husband) will not be like the way of a town-dweller, and the way of a strong woman will not be like the way of a weak woman. (al-Fataawa al-Kubraa, 4/561)

Here is an example of how Asmaa’ bint Abee Bakr, radiyallaahu ‘anhumaa, served her husband. She said,

“Az-Zubayr married me and he did not have any property or slaves or anything upon the earth except for a camel which drew water from the well and his horse. So I used to feed his horse, draw the water, stitch his water bucket, and prepare the dough, but I was not proficient in baking bread – so ladies from the Ansaar who were my neighbours and were honourable used to bake the bread for me. I also used to carry the date-stones upon my head, from the land given to az-Zubayr by Allaah’s Messenger ﷺ – and it was about two miles away. One day when I was coming with the date-stones on my head, I met Allaah’s Messenger ﷺ and a group of the Ansaar were with him. So he called me and said, ‘Ikh, ikh.’ In order to carry me behind him upon the camel. But I felt shy to proceed along with the men, and I thought of az-Zubayr and his sense of jealousy, and he was one of the most jealous of the people. So Allaah’s Messenger ﷺ saw my shyness and so passed on. So I came to az-Zubayr and said, ‘Allaah’s Messenger ﷺ met me while I was carrying the date stones upon my head and with him were a group of his Companions. He caused his riding camel to kneel, but I felt shy and remembered your sense of jealousy.’ So he said, ‘By Allaah your having to carry the date-stones is harder upon me than that you should ride along with him.”‘ She said, “Then later on Aboo Bakr sent me a servant to look after the horse, so it was as if he had set me free.”

Once the conditions of the marriage-contract have been fulfilled and it is valid, then the woman is obliged to submit herself to her husband and allow him to enjoy her (physically), because once the contract is completed, he is allowed in return to enjoy her, and the wife is entitled to the compensation which is the mahr.

The Messenger of Allaah ﷺ was asked, “Which of the women is the best?” He ﷺ replied, “The one who gives him pleasure when he looks; obeys him when he orders; and does not go against his wishes with regard to herself or her wealth by doing that which he dislikes. “ (An-Nisaa’i)

A wife has to obey her husband as long as he doesn’t command anything haram. This is one of the most important commands, which is greater than the obedience of parents after marriage to a wife.

And there’s a famous hadith from Prophet Muhammad ﷺ that summaries that if people were commanded to prostrate before anyone after Allah, this would be women prostrating before their husbands.

This hadith alone shows the importance of the obedience of the husband, as long as it’s related to halal matters.

In this article, you will learn all you need to know about these rights in detail with the references of Quran and hadith.

As I have mentioned earlier, the husband’s right over his wife is actually greater than the wife’s right over her husband. According to the scholars, this is because of this verse in the Quran –

“And they (women) have rights (over their husbands as regards living expenses) similar (to those of their husbands) over them (as regards obedience and respect) to what is reasonable, but men have a degree (of responsibility) over them.

So, the husband is the one who is responsible for the financial, mental, physical, matters of his wife. Similarly, the wife also has to fulfill the mental and physical demands along with taking care of the family, and be careful about the likes and dislikes of her husband.

More or less, both spouses have similar rights over the other. But the right of obedience is one particular right over the wife that the wife herself doesn’t have over the husband.

Therefore, if a husband doesn’t take care of the financial matters of his wife, it would be a major sin. But, disobeying the husband is considered as a more sinful act.

You might already know some of the rights mentioned below. But, if you want to know further on how to treat husband in Islam, the following information will surely help you.

Among all rights of husband in Islam, this is the first and foremost one. This obedience part is because of taking care of her, fulfilling her financial needs, acting as a guardian for her, protecting her from all sorts of hassles, etc. other reasons.

So, by obeying husbands, wives are actually obeying the command of Allah SWT.

Worth mentioning that, obedience is one of those exclusive acts by which wives can win the hearts of their husbands. This is the key to your husband’s heart. Beauty will fade, sexual urge will decrease, but obedience will last as long as both spouses are alive.

If you ask anyone to give you advice for ways to make marriage life better, this would be the topmost advice you will get from everyone.

One of the primary goals of marriage is to enjoy each other physically. You, as a wife, should make yourself available whenever your husband asks you to make intimacy with him. As long as you are physically fit and you are not on your period, you shouldn’t reject him to have intercourse.

If a wife refuses her husband for having intercourse without any valid reasons, then it will be a major sin.

However, if the wife is sick, on her period, or performing obligatory fasting, then she isn’t obliged to respond to her husband. If her husband insists, it will be a sinful act for him.

A lot of women, without any valid reason, refuse their husbands to have intercourse. Be it for mode swing or any dispute, if the husband is refused, then the curse of the angles is on the wife.

Women might get offended by it. But when you consider it as a responsibility, it becomes clear. If the husband doesn’t provide financial support for the wife just because of a dispute among them, then it will also be considered as a sinful act. Both have to perform their responsibilities to live peacefully.

One of the wisdom behind this strict rule is that men have to go outside for their job, business, and other means of making halal income. So, it can happen that he is aroused by a stranger woman. Sooner or later, if he has intercourse with his wife, the chances of falling for the other woman will be highly decreased.

Islam also doesn’t permit wives to perform voluntary fasting without the permission of her husband. Even though fasting itself is an act of virtue, it’s linked to the husband’s permission. Falling in love with someone else, and engaging in a haram relationship is more harmful than breaking the fast. Therefore, it goes in the favor of men.

One of the rights of husband over wife in Islam is that she must not let anyone enter into the house without the permission of her husband. If her husband dislikes a particular person, and tells her not to let that person enter, she must obey this as well.

So, the matter here is pretty self-explanatory. Whether the husband fears fitnah regarding any person that the person might corrupt the mind of his wife, or for any other valid reason, if the husband restricts someone’s entrance, the wife should obey this, and not let that person make inside the house.

According to Shaafa’i and Hanbali scholars, a wife cannot even go and visit her sick father without the permission of her husband. He has the right to not let her go.

As obeying the husband is obligatory, if the husband doesn’t allow his wife to go out for any non-obligatory matter, she must not go there. Because the obligatory command is superior to the non-obligatory one.

As the husband is in charge of his wife, he has the right to discipline her if he notices that she is committing any haram thing. The same goes for the commands of the husband that are obligatory upon the wife to obey. If the husband fails to make her obey him, then the husband got permission to separate the bed and hit her to some extent.

For this verse, Hanafi scholars mentioned three situations where a husband can beat his wife to discipline her –

Worth mentioning that this strict command of shaari’a is for protecting the wife from doing anything haram. And for the beating part, it should not be too aggressive or hard to make marks of beating and he cannot hit her on her face.

Treating your husband in a good and respectful manner is another right he has over you. Your husband provides you with worldly and financial matters. So, if you don’t treat her well, it will not make him feel good about the marriage.

As husbands also have to treat their wives in a proper and respectful manner, obviously wives have to do the same. After all, without respect and good manners, a marriage contract cannot last longer. Both the parties have to fear Allah concerning each other and treat each other with love, affection, as well as attention.

If you are to know more on how to gain more love from your husband, this article will help you to know the insights.

As the husband tackles the outside world, the wife is in charge of the house when he’s away. A wife doesn’t have any responsibility to financially support the family. One of her responsibilities is to take care of the house. It can be through a maidservant or herself (if they are not capable of paying someone else for it).

However, the husband should also help her do regular things at home, it can be cleaning, cooking, or anything else.

A husband might leave money and everything in charge of his wife, and she should be responsible for these things as well. Protecting the wealth of the husband is really important in marriage.

According to the Quran, husband rights on wife in Islam are obedience, enjoying his wife physically when she is taahir, to not allowing individuals to enter into the house that he dislikes, to discipline and prevent her from doing anything haram, protecting his wealth, taking care of the house and children, etc. over his wife.

The husband has to fulfill the financial right, accommodations, non-financial right, treat her with love and respect, etc. rights to his wife. Among all, providing financial support is the primary husband role in Islam.

A wife should be obedient towards the husband as long as he doesn’t tell to do anything haram. Also, make her available when the husband demands, guard her chastity, protect the wealth, raise children, and act responsibly for household matters.

Husbands can beat wives for some specific reasons. But the beating should not be too hard that it leaves any sign or mark on the skin and should not be on the face. Usually, if the husband finds her disobedient, doing haram things, then the shaari’a permits taking such actions to bring her back from those matters.

The marriage life becomes more pleasing and enjoyable when both the husband and wife take care of the rights of each other. After knowing Husband rights in Islam, you as a wife should try to fulfill those rights and please both your husband, and most importantly Allah SWT.

Islam has enjoined upon the husband duties towards his wife, and vice versa, and among these duties are some which are shared by both husband and wife.

We will mention – by the help of Allah – some of the texts of the Quran and Sunnah which have to do with the duties of the spouses towards one another, quoting also from the commentaries and views of the scholars.

The wife has financial rights over her husband which are the mahr (dowry), spending and accommodation.

And she has non-financial rights such as fair division between co-wives, being treated in a decent and reasonable manner, and not being treated in a harmful way by her husband.

This is the money to which the wife is entitled from her husband when the marriage contract is completed or when the marriage is consummated. It is a right which the man is obliged to pay to the woman . Allah says (interpretation of the meaning):

“And give to the women (whom you marry) their Mahr (obligatory bridal-money given by the husband to his wife at the time of marriage) with a good heart.”

The prescription of the mahr demonstrates the seriousness and importance of the marriage-contract, and is a token of respect and honour to the woman.

The mahr is not a condition or essential part of the marriage contract, according to the majority of jurists; rather it is one of the consequences of the contract. If the marriage contract is done without any mention of the mahr, it is still valid, according to the consensus of the majority, because Allah says (interpretation of the meaning):

“There is no sin on you, if you divorce women while yet you have not touched (had sexual relation with) them, nor appointed unto them their Mahr (bridal-money given by the husband to his wife at the time of marriage).”

The fact that divorce is permitted before consummation of the marriage or before stipulating the mahr indicates that it is permissible not to stipulate the mahr in the marriage contract.

If the mahr is stipulated, it becomes obligatory upon the husband; if it is not stipulated, then he must give the mahr that is given to women of similar status to his wife.

The scholars of Islam are agreed that it is obligatory for husbands to spend on their wives, on the condition that the wife makes herself available to her husband. If she refuses him or rebels, then she is not entitled to that spending.

The reason why it is obligatory to spend on her is that the woman is available only to her husband, because of the marriage contract, and she is not allowed to leave the marital home except with his permission. So he has to spend on her and provide for her, and this is in return for her making herself available to him for his pleasure.

What is meant by spending is providing what the wife needs of food and accommodation. She has the right to these things even if she is rich, because Allah says (interpretation of the meaning):

“but the father of the child shall bear the cost of the mother’s food and clothing on a reasonable basis.”

“Let the rich man spend according to his means; and the man whose resources are restricted, let him spend according to what Allah has given him.”

The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said to Hind bint ‘Utbah – the wife of Abu Sufyan – who had complained that he did not spend on her: “Take what is sufficient for you and your children, on a reasonable basis.”

‘Aishah said: “Hind bint ‘Utbah, the wife of Abu Sufyan, entered upon the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) and said, ‘O Messenger of Allah, Abu Sufyan is a stingy man who does not spend enough on me and my children, except for what I take from his wealth without his knowledge. Is there any sin on me for doing that?’ The Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said, ‘Take from his wealth on a reasonable basis, only what is sufficient for you and your children.’” (Narrated by al-Bukhari, 5049; Muslim, 1714)

Jabir narrated that the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said in his Farewell Sermon:

“Fear Allah concerning women! Verily you have taken them on the security of Allah, and intercourse with them has been made lawful unto you by words of Allah. You too have rights over them, and that they should not allow anyone to sit on your bed whom you do not like. But if they do that, you can chastise them but not severely. Their rights upon you are that you should provide them with food and clothing in a fitting manner” (Narrated by Muslim, 1218)

This is also one of the wife’s rights, which means that her husband should prepare for her accommodation according to his means and ability. Allah says (interpretation of the meaning):

“Lodge them (the divorced women) where you dwell, according to your means.”

(i) Fair treatment of co-wives

One of the rights that a wife has over her husband is that she and her co-wives should be treated equally , if the husband has other wives, with regard to nights spent with them, spending and clothing.

The husband must have a good attitude towards his wife and be kind to her, and offer her everything that may soften her heart towards him, because Allah says (interpretation of the meaning):

“…and live with them honourably.”

“And they (women) have rights (over their husbands as regards living expenses) similar (to those of their husbands) over them (as regards obedience and respect) to what is reasonable.”

Abu Hurayrah (may Allah be pleased with him) said: “The Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said: ‘Be kind to women.’”(Narrated by al-Bukhari, 3153; Muslim, 1468).

There follow examples of the kind treatment of the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) towards his wives – for he is the best example:

1. Zaynab bint Abi Salamah narrated that Umm Salamah said: “I got my menses when I was lying with the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) under a single woollen sheet. I slipped away and put on the clothes I usually wore for menstruation. The Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him)  said to me, ‘Have you got your menses?’ I said, ‘Yes.’ Then he called me and made me lie with him under the same sheet.”

She said: And she told me that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) used to kiss her when he was fasting, and the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) and I used to do ghusl to cleanse ourselves from janabah from one vessel.(Narrated by al-Bukhari, 316; Muslim, 296)

2.  ‘Urwah ibn al-Zubayr said: “ ‘Aishah said: ‘By Allah, I saw the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) standing at the door of my apartment when the Abyssinians were playing with their spears in the Mosque of the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him). He covered me with his cloak so that I could watch their games, then he stood there for my sake until I was the one who had had enough. So you should appreciate the fact that young girls like to have fun.’” (Narrated by al-Bukhari, 443; Muslim, 892)

3.  ‘Aishah, the Mother of the Believers (may Allah be pleased with her), narrated that the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) used to pray sitting down; he would recite Quran when he was sitting down, then when there were thirty or forty ayahs left, he would stand up and recite them standing up. Then he did ruku’, then sujud; then he would do likewise in the second rak’ah. When he had finished his prayer, he would look, and if I was awake he would talk with me, and if I was asleep he would lie down. (Narrated by al-Bukhari, 1068)

This is one of the basic principles of Islam. Because harming others is haram in the case of strangers, it is even more so in the case of harming one’s wife.

‘Ubadah ibn al-Samit narrated that the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) ruled, “There should be no harming nor reciprocating harm.” (Narrated by Ibn Majah,, 2340)

This hadith was classed as sahih by Imam Ahmad, al-Hakim, Ibn al-Salah and others. See Khulasat al-Badr al-Munir, 2/438.

Among the things to which the Lawgiver drew attention in this matter is the prohibition of hitting or beating in a severe manner.

Jabir narrated that the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said in his Farewell Sermon:

“Fear Allah concerning women! Verily you have taken them on the security of Allah, and intercourse with them has been made lawful unto you by words of Allah. You too have rights over them, and that they should not allow anyone to sit on your bed whom you do not like. But if they do that, you can chastise them but not severely. Their rights upon you are that you should provide them with food and clothing in a fitting manner” (Narrated by Muslim, 1218)

The rights of the husband over his wife are among the greatest rights; indeed his rights over her are greater than her rights over him, because Allah says (interpretation of the meaning):

“And they (women) have rights (over their husbands as regards living expenses) similar (to those of their husbands) over them (as regards obedience and respect) to what is reasonable, but men have a degree (of responsibility) over them.”

al-Jassas said: Allah tells us in this verse that each of the spouses has rights over the other, and that the husband has one particular right over his wife which she does not have over him.

Ibn al-‘Arabi said: this text states that he has some preference over her with regard to rights and duties of marriage.

These rights include:

Allah has made the man a qawwaam (protector and maintainer) of the woman by commanding, directing and taking care of her, just as guardians take care of their charges, by virtue of the physical and mental faculties that Allah has given only to men and the financial obligations that He has enjoined upon them. Allah says (interpretation of the meaning):

“Men are the protectors and maintainers of women, because Allah has made one of them to excel the other, and because they spend (to support them) from their means.”

‘Ali ibn Abi Talhah said, narrating from Ibn ‘Abbas: “Men are the protectors and maintainers of women” means, they are in charge of them, i.e., she should obey him in matters of obedience that Allah has enjoined upon her, and obey him by treating his family well and taking care of his wealth. This was the view of Muqatil, al-Suddi and al-Dahhak. (Tafsir Ibn Kathir, 1/492)

One of the rights that the husband has over his wife is that he should be able to enjoy her (physically). If he marries a woman and she is able to have intercourse, she is obliged to submit herself to him according to the contract, if he asks her. That is after he gives her the immediate mahr, and gives her some time – two or three days, if she asks for that – to sort herself out, because that is something that she needs, and because that is not too long and is customary.

If a wife refuses to respond to her husband’s request for intercourse , she has done something haram and has committed a major sin, unless she has a valid shar’i excuse such as menses, obligatory fasting, sickness, etc.

Abu Hurayrah (may Allah be pleased with him) said: “The Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said: ‘When a man calls his wife to his bed and she refuses, and he went to sleep angry with her, the angels will curse her until morning.’” (Narrated by al-Bukhari, 3065; Muslim, 1436)

One of the rights that the husband has over his wife is that she should not permit anyone whom he dislikes to enter his house.

Abu Hurayrah (may Allah be pleased with him) narrated that the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said: “It is not permitted for a woman to fast when her husband is present without his permission, or to admit anyone into his house without his permission. And whatever she spends (in charity) of his wealth without his consent, ….” (Narrated by al-Bukhari, 4899; Muslim, 1026)

Sulaymaan ibn ‘Amr ibn al-Ahwas said: my father told me that he was present at the Farewell Pilgrimage (Hajjat al-Wada’) with the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him). He praised and glorified Allah, then he preached a sermon and said: “Treat women kindly, for they are (as) prisoners and you have no other power over them than that, if they are guilty of open lewdness, then refuse to share their beds, and hit them, but not severely. But if they return to obedience, (then) do not seek means (of annoyance) against them. You have rights over your women and your women have rights over you. Your rights over your women are that they should not let anyone whom you dislike sit on your bed and they should not let anyone whom you dislike enter your house. Their rights over you are that you should feed and clothe them well.” (Narrated by al-Tirmidhi, 1163 – he said this is a sahih hasan hadith. Also narrated by Ibn Majah, 1851)

Jabir said: (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said:

“Fear Allah concerning women! Verily you have taken them on the security of Allah, and intercourse with them has been made lawful unto you by words of Allah. You too have rights over them, and that they should not allow anyone to sit on your bed whom you do not like. But if they do that, you can chastise them but not severely. Their rights upon you are that you should provide them with food and clothing in a fitting manner.” (Narrated by Muslim, 1218)

One of the rights of the husband over his wife is that she should not go out of the house except with his permission.

The Shafi'is and Hanbalis said: she does not have the right to visit (even) her sick father except with the permission of her husband, and he has the right to prevent her from doing that… because obedience to the husband is obligatory, and it is not permitted to neglect an obligatory action for something that is not obligatory.

The husband has the right to discipline his wife if she disobeys him in something good, not if she disobeys him in something sinful, because Allah has enjoined disciplining women by forsaking them in bed and by hitting them (lightly and if there is any benefit in that), when they do not obey.

The Hanafis mentioned four situations in which a husband is permitted to discipline his wife by hitting her (lightly). These are: not adorning herself when he wants her to; not responding when he calls her to bed and she is tahirah (pure, i.e., not menstruating); not praying; and going out of the house without his permission.

The evidence that it is permissible to discipline one's wife includes the ayahs (interpretation of the meaning):

“As to those women on whose part you see ill-conduct, admonish them (first), (next) refuse to share their beds, (and last) beat them (lightly, if it is useful).”

“O you who believe! Ward off yourselves and your families against a Fire (Hell) whose fuel is men and stones.”

Ibn Kathir said:

Qatadah said: “You should command them to obey Allah, and forbid them to disobey Allah; you should be in charge of them in accordance with the command of Allah, and instruct them to follow the commands of Allah, and help them to do so. If you see any act of disobedience towards Allah, then stop them from doing it and rebuke them for that.

This was also the view of al-Dahhak and Muqatil: that the duty of the Muslim is to teach his family, including his relatives and his slaves, that which Allah has enjoined upon them and that which He has forbidden them.” (Tafsir Ibn Kathir, 4/392)

There is a great deal of evidence (dalil) for this, some of which has been mentioned above.

Shaykh al-Islam Ibn Taymiyah said:

She is obliged to serve her husband according to what is reasonable among people of similar standing. That varies according to circumstances: the way in which a Bedouin woman serves (her husband) will not be like the way of a town-dweller, and the way of a strong woman will not be like the way of a weak woman. (al-Fatawa al-Kubra, 4/561)

Once the conditions of the marriage contract have been fulfilled and it is valid, then the woman is obliged to submit herself to her husband and allow him to enjoy her (physically). This is because once the contract is completed, he is allowed in return to enjoy her, and the wife is entitled to the compensation which is the mahr.

Allah says (interpretation of the meaning):

“And they (women) have rights (over their husbands as regards living expenses) similar (to those of their husbands) over them (as regards obedience and respect) to what is reasonable.”

Al-Qurtubi said:

“It was also narrated from him – i.e., Ibn 'Abbas – that this means: they have the right to good companionship and kind and reasonable treatment from their husbands just as they are obliged to obey the commands of their husbands.

And it was said that they have the right that their husbands should not harm them, and their husbands have a similar right over them. This was the view of al-Tabari.

Ibn Zayd said: You should fear Allah concerning them just as they should fear Allah concerning you.

The meanings are similar, and the ayah includes all of that in the rights and duties of marriage.” (Tafsir al-Qurtubi, 3/123-124)