What is say i love you about?

The thought of hearing your romantic partner say “I love you” for the first time may send a rush of euphoria through your body. When you’re keen on someone, those words often ring as a rite of passage into deeper intimacy—a relationship milestone on high. And, once exchanged, it may feel as though you’ve been plucked from the realm of the casually intertwined and dropped into the arms of something official, lasting, and real.

So what do you do if thoughts of falling in love are fizzing wildly inside of you, dying to spill out, but you’re caught in the space of “Should I say I love you, or should I...not?” And you fear inciting a re-creation of the dreadful moment in Sex and the City when Carrie impulsively blurts out an awkward “I love you” after Big gifts her a crystalline duck-shaped handbag, and he then mumbles, “You’re welcome” in response—before fleeing the scene.

While all great love stories are nuanced and should be allowed to unfold organically, we sought guidance from the experts to help you determine if the right time to say “I love you” first is now, later…or never.

The answer is, admittedly, relatively unsatisfying. “There isn’t a particular amount of time to consider as the right time,” says Sofia Robirosa, a relationship therapist in Miami. “The time that it takes to understand whether the feeling of love is real love or infatuation varies vastly on the amount of quality time spent as a couple and situations that may show through actions that love is being exercised.” Because of that, the right time is based on the evolution of the individual relationship.

And it all boils down to not knowing each other well enough, says Robirosa.

Jenn Mann, psychotherapist, host of VH1’s Couples Therapy with Dr. Jenn and author of The Relationship Fix, advises that you gauge the temperature of your relationship before you entertain the thought of saying “I love you.” Specifically, determine if your time spent together ever dips from hot to cold, or if your bond is more like a slow-burning ember of mutual commitment.

Because in our modern day, there are a multitude of things tugging at us constantly, asking to lure our attention—from open relationships to tantalizing strangers on social media and dating apps. “If someone is willing to be exclusive with you, or at least consider you their primary partner when monogamy is not the goal, then that’s a good signal there is a depth to the relationship that is at least leading in the direction of love,” says Mann.

But before you spout off in a moment of passion, she advises that you sit with the feeling and become aware of what your expectations are surrounding it. “For some people, the expectation is: ‘Oay, I say it and you say it, and that means we’re instantly in a committed relationship.’ For others, the expectation may be entirely different—perhaps that it’s simply a deepening friendship.”

Finally, you need to imagine how you will feel if the sentiment isn’t reciprocated. “In many situations, it may be that you’re dying to confess your truth. Maybe you feel as though you can no longer hold it in, and while you hope it will be returned, you are willing to accept the situation if it isn’t,” says Mann. “That’s the most ideal headspace to be in.”

The thrill of a new relationship starts with the rousing of initial intrigue, the attraction that renders you dizzy, and the fun of linking arms with someone who enjoys your favorite activities. Mann says infatuation often serves as a mask of projection that looks enticingly like love but isn’t at all. In other words, just because you and your partner have stars in your eyes for each other, and share a mutual fondness for baked ziti pizza and ’90s rom-coms doesn’t mean you’ve entered into something as complex and enduring as love.

“Too many people declare their love during the honeymoon stage, which is primarily the first six to 18 months of a relationship. The problem is, in most cases, you may not yet know what you’ve got. During this phase, many people are blinded by the excitement,” says Mann. “This isn’t necessarily a bad thing, because you should enjoy it, but don’t be too quick to call it something it hasn’t had time to become.”

Because love isn’t always cinematic. It’s more so a process that crawls into the dungeons of reality with you—building connection, presence, and trust over time. It’s when your partner hears you coughing from the bathroom in the dark hours and stumbles out of bed to bring you a glass of water. Or when you have an ill parent, and they drop their sun-drenched-vacation plans to be by your side so that you don’t have to endure it alone. “Love is much more significant and sacrificing than hot sex and the things that thrill us,” says Mann.

Monica Berg, spiritual thought leader, chief communications officer of the Kabbalah Centre and author of the upcoming book Rethink Love: 3 Steps to Being the One, Attracting the One, and Becoming One, says to never utter those words before turning within. “It’s essential to examine the relationship you have with yourself before you tell another person you love them,” she says.

Berg suggests getting radically honest with yourself—dysfunctional patterns and all. “You’ve got to make sure that your motivations for saying ‘I love you’ are fueled by a genuine expression of love, and are not being driven by desperation or loneliness,” she says.

Mann agrees, explaining that we often develop habits of seeking a relationship to fulfill needs that only we can satisfy. For example, you may believe you are in pursuit of love when, instead, you are unconsciously seeking an emotional crutch, or a happy distraction.

Kevin Gilliland, PsyD, a licensed clinical psychologist who counsels couples, finds that our vulnerabilities threaten to deceive us. “If you’re coming out of a difficult season in your life, you may find someone who brings you a lot of happiness, quickly feeling the impulse to say ‘I love you.’ But much of the time what you’re really saying is, ‘I’m hurting, and I’m lonely, and I need to be linked up with someone who will care about me,’” he says. “While it may feel good in the moment, misdirected feelings can create problems later on.”

The right time to say “I love you” is less about a concrete amount of time and more about being able to discern whether the feeling is love or infatuation, says Robirosa. “The difference between one and the other is that the former indicates that one fully accepts—flaws and all, and is fond of their partner.”

Ideally, saying “I love you“ for the first time should be an intimate moment free from any obligation. You might reconsider plans to say it when:

Perhaps you come from a family who tosses around “I love you” freely—before ending a phone call or while exchanging a goodbye hug. But your significant other may be more reserved, only calling upon those words sparingly—perhaps during occasions of immense celebration or when gripped by the finality of death. For some, it’s a phrase that's much like a treasure kept locked away, only brought to light and passed around during times of significance. For others, it’s as freely exchanged as “Pass the salt.”

So in the event that you say it and it isn’t reciprocated, Mann suggests taking a deep breath before you panic—because it’s not necessarily a sign of impending doom. “Some people are cautious in expressing how they feel—especially if they have experienced a great deal of rejection or come from a family where those words were rarely used. So deciding when it’s time to say it is mostly about tuning into the unique expressions and personality of the individual you’re involved with,” she says.

Mann says that confessing those words too soon may derail a relationship that is on an otherwise progressive track—but not when the investment is already solid.

“Even if a person isn’t quite ready to say ‘I love you’ after hearing it from their significant other, if they are truly looking toward a future with them, it's unlikely to scare them away. However, if someone is on the fence about the relationship, is perhaps a bit emotionally immature, or is negatively triggered by those words, it could scare them off,” says Mann. “But this, again, goes back to being tuned into your partner’s behavior and history.”

Generation is undeniably a factor to consider when it comes to styles of expressing love, though the question of gender isn’t so relevant in our modern day, says Mann.

Although individuals in their late 40s and 50s are more likely to move along with the traditional gender stereotypes that advise a man to lead the way—wooing his partner with chivalry and being the first to announce his love—this isn’t so with younger generations. “Both men and women in their 20s and early 30s are more aware of their options and may even be less likely to commit, in general. But, interestingly, studies show that men in the younger generation are able to express their emotions much more freely, as well as receive them more comfortably,” says Mann. “So, that considered, it wouldn’t at all be alarming to a male of the younger generation if his female partner said ‘I love you’ first.”

When most of your interactions take place via a messaging app, FaceTime, or Skype, it isn’t unusual at all for your first “I love you” to be of the digital variety. So you don’t necessarily have to wait to say it until you’re together in the flesh. But you should be aware of some potential dangers.

Long-distance love “may increase your hunger for a person. It also doesn’t hurt that you’re not seeing them leave their dirty underwear on the floor,” says Mann. Still, certain long-distance relationships may move at a rapid pace emotionally because there isn’t the smokescreen of physical interaction. When sex is forced to wait, more meaningful conversations are invited to enter the relationship. “I think, most significantly, if there is a truly deep connection, long-distance love may develop faster than usual because the parties are forced to communicate and learn about each other beyond the surface things,” says Mann.

Should “I love you” be upheld as the proverbial relationship “crossing over” moment? Is it genuinely a milestone that lives up to its hype? Not in a literal sense, but again, it’s important to be aware that many people will see it this way, so adjust your intentions accordingly. The climate may change in the aftermath of those words being exchanged—becoming one filled with expectations.

“When you move from interest to infatuation to love, many people start to feel a bit anxious. They may think they can’t contain their emotions for that person any longer. But you need to ask yourself if you’re prepared to follow through with loving behavior on the other side of saying those words,” says Gilliland.

We often invest inconceivable amounts of energy and strategy into searching for a soul mate. Maybe you’ve gone on a slew of clumsy Tinder dates, or allowed your mom or co-workers to play Cupid in ways that have resulted in disastrous episodes of hilarity. Or perhaps you have found the person you believe to be your shining one-and-only, and are working daily to nurture the connection between the two of you.

after

Berg says that while being conscious during the dawn of a relationship absolutely matters, investing in a relationship long-term is when the real work begins—, not before, the luster has begun to fade. “It’s important to ask yourself: ‘What level of responsibility am I willing to bring to this?’ Because ‘I love you’ is easy to say but harder to practice long-term,” she says. “We live in a society where love is romanticized in the movies. But the truth is that the real work—the essence of the love story— starts as soon as the movie ends.”

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Description Say I Love You. is a Japanese 2008 romance manga by Kanae Hazuki. An anime adaptation by Zexcs aired from October 6 to December 30, 2012. In North America, the manga is published by Kodansha USA and the anime is licensed by Sentai Filmworks. A live action film was released on July 12, 2014. Wikipedia

It may seem English doesn’t have as many expressions to say “I love you” as, let’s say, French or Spanish, which are considered two of the most romantic languages in the world. However, there are more ways to express love in English than you may expect! That’s because there are many different situations that call for different ways to say those three little words.

So, to help you do that, we’ve prepared a (long) list of ways to say I love you in English. Ready? Let there be love!

Some people have no trouble expressing their feelings. For others, saying “I love you” doesn’t come easily. But no matter which one you are, knowing how to express your love for someone is important.

Here are a few reasons why:

Whether you’re falling in love, already deeply in love with someone, or want to express your feelings of love to your parents or friends, you may need different ways to say it.

Without a doubt, knowing how to say I love you in English will help you express your feelings more accurately and fluently.

Maybe you’re one of the lucky people who have already met their soulmates. Or, maybe you’ll meet them in the future. Either way, it’s important to be able to express how you feel about them! And even if you don’t believe in soulmates, there’s someone out there you care about.

Saying “I love you” isn’t reserved just for your romantic partner. You can also say it to your friends, family, or even your pup. A platonic “I love you” can mean many different things. It can mean that you appreciate them, love their company, or care about them.

In English, "I love you" is the most common phrase used to express your feeling of love. It is a short sentence, but it is very powerful. We usually say it to our romantic partner or someone we’re in love with. However, it can also be used platonically, for example, to your mum or your best friend.

But, saying these three words may not always be appropriate, or you may not be ready to say them yet. So, other expressions beyond the standard “I love you” can come in handy in some situations.

Here are some ways to say I love you in English in different situations.

Maybe you’re happily in love with someone you really care about and feel like shouting it from the rooftops. Or, perhaps you’re at the point where you want to express your feelings for someone, but you’re not really sure how.

Either way, here are a few ways to say “I love you” to your bae to help you express your feelings.

Family and friendships are an important part of every culture. In English, there are many different ways to express your feelings of love and appreciation to your friends and family. Here are some of them:

In that awkward stage of not-yet-in-a-relationship but not friends either? Trying to ask your next-door neighbor out? The way you flirt with the person you like will likely impact what happens next. So, to help you be fully prepared, we’ve gathered a list of a few useful ways to say “I like you” in English:

Not quite ready to say “I love you”? We get it. Expressing how you feel about someone is not always easy! Especially if you might be afraid they don’t feel the same way.

So, breaking the ice with a cute and funny way to say I love you in English might just be the right solution! Here are a few expressions that you might find helpful (they sound really cute in a text message, too):

If you’re a hopeless romantic like Romeo or Juliet, these love quotes, expressions, and verses from Shakespearean English are for you. If you're looking to get creative with your expression of affection, look no further! Here are some of the most poetic ways we could find to help you express your undying love to your bae.

Cheesy or heart-melting? You be the judge!

From the timeless classics to the brand new film and television, these lines from some favorite big screen and TV show actors might make you laugh, swoon, cringe or ask whose been cutting onions nearby (Severus Snape, we’re looking at you).

No matter your reaction, these lines are worthy examples of creative and unique ways to verbalize love in English – so up the ante, grab the popcorn and embrace these love quotes from movies and TV.

In the history of music, there have been so many songs about love. They’re all different, and some are more meaningful than others. And if you’ve read any of our blog articles, you know how much we love learning languages from songs!

It’s a fun way to make new vocabulary stick in your head. So, here are a few of our favorite love songs in English:

This is undoubtedly one of the most popular songs about love of all time. The lyrics are straightforward, making the song easy for anyone to understand, even if you’re at a beginner level of English.

The lyrics in this song are stunning. This song talks about loving someone for who they truly are. This song is a beautiful way to let your partner know exactly how you feel about them and what makes them special to you. And it also contains a lot of practical, romantic expressions in English!

This beautiful song by Steve Wonder can help you remember different phrases to say “I love you” to someone you care about. It’s catchy, easy to sing, and its lyrics are pretty simple, so you’ll be able to understand it even if you’re not very fluent in English (yet!).

The expression of love is wonderfully diverse, and whether you're a native English speaker or not, many of us have so much choice in finding the right words when we want to express our feelings beyond the classic three words.

We hope that this extensive list of different ways to say I love you in English will help you find the right words to express your feelings for the one you love and cherish.

And speaking of love, if you cherish this article, you can find more free English vocabulary blog lessons on our learn English blog.

Say I Love You. is a 2012 romance Japanese anime based on the manga written and illustrated by Kanae Hazuki. Mei Tachibana is a socially awkward teenager who not only believes that friendships end in betrayal, but has also never had a boyfriend in all of her 16 years of existence.

Say "I Love You" (好きっていいなよ。, Suki-tte Ii na yo.) is a completed manga series authored by Kanae Hazuki that has appeared in the Dessert magazine since 2008.

Quiet and unassuming Mei Tachibana is 16-years-old, but has spent her high school years without making friends or getting a boyfriend because of a childhood incident that left her believing that people will betray each other sooner or later. When she encounters a popular boy named Yamato Kurosawa he becomes interested in her, and it is through their tentative friendship and blossoming relationship that Mei ultimately begins to branch out and befriend others.

Mei Tachibana

Yamato Kurosawa

Asami describes Yamato as someone who thinks of others more than anyone else, protects what should be protected, and cares for others despite having his own problems to deal with.

Asami Oikawa

Kenji Nakanishi

Aiko Mutō

Masashi Tachikawa

Kakeru Hayakawa

Chiharu Ogawa

Megumi Kitagawa

Kai Takemura

Nagi Kurosawa

Daichi Kurosawa