What should i do if i witness bullying?

In all bullying incidents, there is one person impacted by bullying who is often overlooked—the bystander. Although bystanders are not the primary targets of bullying, they are still affected. Some studies even suggest that bystanders may suffer more than the actual victim. In fact, bystanders can suffer from guilt, anxiety, depression, and feelings of helplessness.

Bystanders also may experience what is known as the bystander effect which occurs when people witness an event like bullying when a large group of people are around. They are less likely to help the victim because they believe someone else will do it. Consequently, it’s important to equip your kids with the ability to recognize that bullying is wrong. It’s also a good idea to give them appropriate tools for responding to bullying.

Not only does an appropriate response to bullying help the victim, but it also helps your child avoid the negative effects of witnessing a bullying incident. Talk to your kids about what they can do when they see bullying take place at school. Then, offer some ideas on how your child can respond to bullying at school. Here are some suggestions.

Avoid joining in or laughing. Sometimes kids will chime in or laugh when bullying occurs. But even a nervous laugh gives the bully a response he is looking for. Explain to your children that you expect them not to join in the bullying. Even if they don’t feel brave enough to do something at the time, they can at least avoid giving in to peer pressure and laughing along with the others.

Walk away. Sometimes bullies are simply looking for attention. And, if they do not have an audience, they will stop. Tell your kids that sometimes all it takes to help a victim is to walk away from the incident or to ignore the bully. Still, remind your child to report the bullying to an adult so that it doesn’t happen again.

Tell the bully to stop. Usually, if a bully is not getting positive attention from the crowd, he will stop what he is doing. It only takes one or two people to show disapproval and the bullying will end. Tell your children to use this method only if they feel safe in doing so. If the bully poses a physical threat, another option might be to find help.

Get an adult. Encourage your child to calmly walk away from a bullying incident and go find help. This should be done discreetly in order to keep your child out of harm’s way. But if bullying is not reported it will continue. What's more, if your child is a witness to bullying and is willing to tell someone what he saw, this goes a long way in supporting the victim.

Use a cell phone to call or text for help. If your child has a cell phone, tell him that he can always call or text an adult and ask for help. In fact, Some schools have even implemented helplines where kids can text or call anonymously when someone is being bullied. Doing so keeps him from having to say something directly to the bully, but gives him a way to help the victim.

Request other bystanders stand up too. Sometimes it is safer and more effective if a group of kids confronts the bully. In fact, research shows that when peers intervene in a bullying incident, the bullying stops nearly 60% of the time. Remind your kids that there is strength in numbers and encourage them to rally their friends to put an end to bullying at school.

Address cyberbullying. Remember, your child doesn’t have to be physically present to be impacted by bullying. Witnessing a classmate being targeted online can affect your child too. Teach him how to report cyberbullying when he sees it online. For instance, your child should save the posts and report the cyberbullying to an adult. What’s more, many social media sites have mechanisms for reporting abuse. Help him become familiar with how to report harassment.

Support the victim. Sometimes the best way to help is to be a friend to the victim. In fact, research shows that having at least one friend can deter bullying. Give your child ideas on how to be a friend to victims of bullying. This might mean walking to class together, sitting with them at lunch and inviting them to social events.

• Make it clear to your friends that you won't be involved in bullying behaviour.
• Never stand by and watch or encourage bullying behaviour.
• Do not harass, tease or spread gossip about others, this includes on social networking sites like Facebook.

If you are being bullied or know or see someone being bullied, it is important that you read this fact sheet to find out how to be a supportive bystander. If you are being bullied and need help please contact a support service.

A bystander is someone who sees or knows about bullying or other forms of violence that is happening to someone else.

Bystanders can be either part of the bullying problem or an important part of the solution to stop bullying.

Bystanders can act in different ways when they see or know about bullying:

Just as we have human rights we also have responsibilities to respect and protect the rights of others. A supportive bystander will take action to protect the rights of others.

A supportive bystander will use words and/or actions that can help someone who is being bullied.

If bystanders are confident to take safe and effective action to support victims then there is a greater possibility that bullying can stop and the person who is bullied can recover.

People respect those that stand up for others who are bullied but being a supportive bystander can be tough. Sometimes it is not easy to work out how to help safely because bullying happens in different ways and places such as online, at work or school.

There is no one size fits all approach to being a supportive bystander.  For supportive bystanders to take safe and effective action here are some suggestions:

If you have been bullied or witnessed others been bullied and need help contact:

Kids Help Line (1800 55 1800) is a free and confidential, telephone counseling service for 5 to 25 year olds in Australia. http://www.kidshelp.com.au/

Lifeline (13 11 14) is a free and confidential service staffed by trained telephone counsellors. http://www.lifeline.org.au

The Australian Human Rights Commission (1300 656 419) has a complaint handling service that may investigate complaints of discrimination, harassment and bullying http://www.humanrights.gov.au/complaints_information/index.html

Download the Cyber-safety Help Button, a free Australian Government initiative, designed to keep children and families safe online.

http://www.dcbde.gov.au/helpbutton

To find out about cyberbullying and how to get help you can also go to the Australian Communications and Media Authority (ACMA) Cybersmart Program

http://www.cybersmart.gov.au/report.aspx

National Centre Against Bullying

http://www.ncab.org.au

The Australian Human Rights Commission has information on cyber racism and actions that can be taken to report cyber racism.

http://www.humanrights.gov.au/racial_discrimination/publications/cyberracism_factsheet.html

Think U Know conducts internet safety programs and provides advice for teachers,parents and carers.

http://www.thinkuknow.org.au/site/

Bullying No Way provides support and information for school communities.

http://www.bullyingnoway.com.au/

This fact sheet was developed in partnership with the ReachOut.com, 2011