How to stop self obsessing and be happier?
Cognitive Behavioral Therapy techniques really helped me with this! Here are some practical steps:Challenge your thoughts - Ask yourself: "Is this thought helpful? Is it true? What evidence do I have for and against this thought?"Schedule worry time - Designate 15 minutes each day to obsess/worry, and when those thoughts come at other times, tell yourself "I'll think about this during my worry time."Practice gratitude - Keep a journal and write down 3 things you're grateful for each day. This shifts focus from what's wrong to what's right.Help someone else - Volunteering or simply doing something kind for another person gets you out of your own head.Develop hobbies that require focus - Things like learning an instrument, painting, or coding force your brain to concentrate on something other than your thoughts.I've been practicing these for about six months, and the difference in my happiness and peace of mind has been remarkable. The Anxiety and Depression Association of America website has great resources too: https://adaa.org
From my experience as a life coach, self-obsession often comes from a place of anxiety and needing control. Here's what I recommend to clients:Connect with nature - Spend time outdoors without devices. Nature has a way of putting our problems in perspective.Develop a meditation practice - Even 5-10 minutes daily can create space between you and your thoughts. Apps like Insight Timer are great for beginners.Practice acceptance - Some things are beyond our control, and fighting this reality creates suffering. The Serenity Prayer is wisdom here: "Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and wisdom to know the difference."Focus on values, not feelings - Instead of chasing happiness, focus on living according to your values (kindness, integrity, growth). Happiness often follows as a byproduct.Remember that you are not your thoughts. You are the awareness behind them. This shift in perspective can be truly liberating.
This is something I've personally struggled with for years. Here's what actually helped me break the cycle of obsessive thinking:Practice mindfulness - When you notice yourself spiraling into obsessive thoughts, gently bring your attention to your breath or physical sensations. The book "The Happiness Trap" by Russ Harris really helped me understand this approach.Get out of your head and into your body - Exercise, yoga, dancing, or even just going for a walk can interrupt the thought patterns. I started running whenever I felt the obsessive thoughts starting, and it made a huge difference.Practice self-compassion - Instead of beating yourself up for overthinking, acknowledge that this is your mind's way of trying to protect you. Talk to yourself like you would a good friend.Limit social media and comparison - These often fuel obsessive thinking about how we measure up to others.It's a journey, not a quick fix. I still have days where I overthink, but now I have tools to manage it better. Therapy was also incredibly helpful for understanding the roots of my obsessive thinking patterns.