What is marriage in the bible?
An intimate and complementing union between a man and a woman in which the two become one physically, in the whole of life. The purpose of marriage is to reflect the relationship of the Godhead and to serve him. Although the fall has marred the divine purpose and function of marriage, this definition reflects the God-ordained ideal for marriage from the beginning.
The Image of God. Genesis 1:26-27 declares that mankind (adam [d'a]) was created in God's image with a plural composition of male and female, each separately in God's image (cf. Gen 5:1-3 ; 9:6 ; 1 Cor 11:7 ; Col 3:10 ; James 3:9 ). Although the image of God is never defined in Scripture, contexts in which God's image are discussed must define the concept (cf. 2 Cor 3:18 ; and Col 3:10 ). God's image in Genesis 1 includes ruling, creativity (procreation), reasoning power, decision-making, and relationship.
The relational aspect of God's image is reflected in the bringing together of male and female in "one flesh" ( Gen 1:27 ; 2:21-24 ). This oneness with sexual differences portrays various aspects of God's image: same nature and essence, equal members, intimate relationship, common purpose, and distinct personalities with different roles, including authority and submission. In the Trinity the Father leads, the Son submits to the Father, and the Holy Spirit submits to both the Father and the Son. However, all three are fully and equally deity. Likewise, male and female in the marriage relationship are of the same nature and essence, equal as persons (cf. Gal 3:28 ), intimate in relationship, common in purpose, but distinct personalities with different roles: the husband leads and the wife submits to his leadership (cf. Eph 5:31 ). Marriage appears designed to reflect the same relational unity-in-plurality as the Godhead. Marriage, the most intimate human relationship, was appropriately chosen to reflect this relational aspect of the divine image. Each sex alone incompletely exhibits this part of the divine image. This open intimate relational aspect of God's image, reflected in marriage, was marred by the fall (cf. Genesis 3:7 Genesis 3:10 ), causing each mate to hide (cover oneself) from each other and from God.
Marriage is the most basic and significant social relationship to humankind. This relationship must be nurtured and maintained for the welfare of all. Without marriage, society will fail.
God's design for marital relationship is heterosexual, not homosexual, and monogamous, not polygamous. This relational aspect of God's image in marriage has analogues portrayed in Yahweh's relation with Israel ( Isa 54:5 ; Jer 31:32 ; Ezek 16:8-14 ; Hosea 2:14-20 ) as well as in Christ's relation with the church ( Eph 5:21-33 ; cf. 1 Cor 11:1-3 ; 2 Cor 11:2 ; Rev 19:7-9 ). Israel is portrayed as Yahweh's wife ( Isa 54:5 ; Jer 31:32 ; Ezek 16:8-14 ; Hosea 2:14-20 ). Her idolatrous unfaithfulness and disobedience to Yahweh are frequently depicted as spiritual "adultery" ( Num 25:1-4 ; Judges 2:17 ; Jer 3:20 ; Ezek 16:15-59 ; 23:1-48 ; Hosea 1:2 ; 2:2-13 ; 3:3 ) for which she was punished by captivity. Yahweh "divorced" his "unfaithful wife" ( Isa 50:1 ; Jer 3:8 ; Hosea 2:2 ), but ultimately will have compassion and delightfully restore her to faithfulness and holiness ( Isa 54 ; 62:4-5 ; Ezek 16:53-63 ; Hosea 2:14-3:1 ).
New Testament marriage imagery describes the relationship between Christ and his church (cf. 2 Cor 11:2 ; Eph 5:21-33 ; Rev 19:7-9 ). The church, Christ's bride, is sacrificially loved by Christ, just as a husband should love his wife ( Ephesians 5:25 Ephesians 5:28-30 Ephesians 5:33 ). The husband's responsibility is leadership, even as Christ is the head of the church, his body ( Eph 5:23 ). The wife responds submissively to her husband's sacrificial love like the church submits to Christ's ( Ephesians 5:22 Ephesians 5:24 Ephesians 5:33 ). The husband's love assists her in becoming holy and blameless before God, even as Christ presents the church without blemish to the Father ( Eph 5:26-28 ). Christ's relationship with the church becomes the functional model for a marriage relationship.
God commanded the male and female to perform two specific functions: procreation ("fruitful and multiply") and ruling over the earth ("subdue" and "rule") ( Gen 1:28 ). These are functions that reflect God's image. Humankind (male and female) receive God-ordained authority to rule over the rest of creation, but not over each other.
Human reproduction comes through intimate sexual union designed only for the marriage relationship. Cohabitation abuses the procreative nature of the marriage relationship. While reproduction is a divine purpose of marriage, some couples are unable to have children for various physical reasons. This does not make their marriage second-rate or inferior. However, a married couple should desire to obey the divine injunction of procreation if possible. Children are one manifestation of the "one flesh" of marriage. The procreative injunction obviously precludes homosexual "marriages."
The Marriage Union as God's Work. God brings a man and a woman together in marriage ( Matt 19:6 ; cf. Eve to Adam, Rebecca to Isaac ). It is not humankind's prerogative to separate what God has chosen to put together ( Matt 19:6 ).
As creator of the marriage relationship, God becomes the essential supporting party to a marriage, giving wisdom, discretion, understanding, and love to protect the union and to enable it to honor God ( Prov 2:6-16 ; 1 Cor 13 ). A marriage can glorify God and function properly only when both partners are believers in the Messiah, Jesus. Then the Holy Spirit guides and enables them in their roles and functions. Continued reliance upon God is imperative for believing spouses.
Marriage as God's Norm for Humankind. God made man a relational being in his own image. Therefore, there is the need for intimate relationship within humankind ( Gen 2:18 ). Such a relationship is also necessary for the reproduction and multiplication of humankind. Without the fall, probably no one would have ever been single. Perfect people would have yielded perfect marriages. Sin brought flaws in humans that sometimes make it difficult to find or sustain a suitable marriage relationship. Being single for life is an exception and, therefore, is declared to be a gift from God ( 1 Cor 7:7 ). The single person is normally less encumbered in God's work. So, although marriage appears to be God's norm, singleness is neither more nor less spiritual than marriage ( 1 Cor 7:32-36 ).
The Nature of Marriage. Complementarity. The woman was created as "a helper suitable" for the man (ezer kenegdo) ( Gen 2:18 ). The English "complement" best conveys the meaning of neged. A wife is a "helper" who "complements" her husband in every way. A helper always subordinates self-interests when helping another, just as Paul reminds us in Philippians 2:1-11. A helping role is a worthy one, not implying inferiority. The wife, therefore, helps the husband to lead their family to serve and glorify God. The husband also complements his wife so that together they become a new balanced entity that God uses in an enhanced way.
A new permanent union ( Gen 2:24 ). "Cleaving" in Genesis 2:24 pictures a strong bond between the members of this union. The marriage bond was to be permanent. Separation or termination of the marriage union was not an option before sin entered the world and death with it ( Gen 3 ). All later revelation shows that separation/divorce was because of sin ( Deut 24:1-4 ; Ezra 9-10; Mal 2:14 ; Matt 5:31-32 ; 19:1-12 ; Mark 10:1-12 ; Luke 16:18 ; 1 Corinthians 7:1-16 1 Corinthians 7:39 ). God's ideal was for marriage to be permanent and exclusive.
One flesh ( Gen 2:24 ). "One flesh" involves the unity of the whole person: purpose, physical, and life a unity whereby the two become a new, God-designed, balanced life. They counterbalance each other's strengths and weaknesses. Sexually the two become "one flesh" physically as reflected in their offspring. God's ideal exclusiveness of the "one flesh" relationship disallows any other relationship: homosexuality, polygamy, adultery, premarital sex, concubinage, incest, bestiality, cultic prostitution. These and other sexual perversions violate the "oneness" of the marriage relationship and were often punishable by death ( Lev 20:1-19 ; Deut 22:13-27 ; cf. Rom 1:26-32 ). Becoming "one flesh" is used in Scripture for the consummating sexual act of marriage.
These aspects of "one flesh" argue against premarital sex, promiscuity, and perversion of the sexual act. The body is the temple of the Holy Spirit ( 1 Cor 6:19 ), so believers should be holy in their sexual conduct ( Lev 19:2 ; 1 Thess 4:3-6 ; 1 Peter 1:15-16 ), keeping marriage pure.
Intimacy. Commitment to exclusive sexual intimacy is treated with dignity, considered honorable and undefiled ( Heb 13:4 ). Mutual consent is required for any temporal abstinence from sexual relations ( 1 Cor 7:1-5 ). Neither spouse is to exploit the other sexually nor use sex to gratify passionate lust ( 1 Thess 4:3-7 ). One is to delight always in the wife of his youth (cf. Prov 5:15-19 ; Eccl 9:9 ). This intimate relationship is encouraged by God's portrayal of its beauty and dignity in the Song of Songs.
Covenant commitment. The covenant analogy attests the commitment between two married partners ( Prov 2:17 ; Mal 2:14 ). Emphasis is upon an agreement, a commitment, not upon an analogy of conditionality and unconditionality of some biblical covenants that would extend the marriage covenant analogy beyond its expected scope. This marriage commitment, and faithfulness to it, preclude sexual relations with anyone except one's spouse ( Exod 20:14 ; Lev. 18,20; Rom 1:24-27 ). Although kings frequently employed marriages to seal foreign treaties in the ancient Near East, such commitments were spiritual as well as physical adultery.
Roles. Although male and female are equal in relationship to Christ, the Scriptures give specific roles to each in marriage. Paul, in continually emphasizing the terms "head" and "submit, " summarizes the basic role of husbands and wives respectively.
The husband is to assume headship/leadership ( 1 Cor 11:3 ; Eph 5:23 ). The normal meaning of biblical headship is leadership with authority, as exemplified in Christ (cf. 1 Cor 11:1-10 ; Eph 1:22 ; 4:15 ; 5:23 ). Headship is a benevolent responsibility without disdaining condescension and patronizing of the woman (cf. Matt 7:12 ; Luke 22:26 ; 1 Peter 3:7 ). Although the husband leads as Christ leads the church, the husband does not have all the rights and authority of Christ. He leads his wife toward dependence upon Christ, not upon himself, for all human leaders are fallible. The husband leads like Christ, being considerate of his wife with respect and knowledge. He considers the ideas of those he leads, because they may be better than his own. Leadership's goal is not to show the leader's superiority, but to elicit all the strengths of people for the desired objective. Headship is not male domination, harshness, oppression, and reactionary negativism (cf. 2 Cor 1:24 ; Eph 5:29 ; Col 3:19 ), for "no one ever hated his own body."
Leadership assumes the responsibility to initiate and implement spiritual and moral planning for a family. Others, however, should also think, plan, initiate, and give input. The husband, however, must accept the burden of making the final choice in times of disagreement, although seldom should this be needed.
The husband's leadership and its authority is a God-given responsibility to be carried out in humility. Inappropriate use of leadership should be curbed by the unique intimacy and union implied in the phrases "one flesh, " "no one ever hated his own body, but he feeds and cares for it, " and "joint heirs of the grace of life" ( Eph 5:29-31 ; 1 Peter 3:7 ).
The husband leads with an attitude of love. Christ's love for the church provides the model ( Eph 5:25-33 ; Col 3:19 ). The husband loves his wife as he would his own body ( Eph 5:25 ), nourishing and cherishing her (v. 29). He gives himself sacrificially for her benefit as Christ sacrificially loved the church. Such love rules out treating his wife like a child or servant; rather he assists her to be a "fellow-heir."
Biblical love thinks first of the other person (cf. 1 Cor 13 ). It is a mental decision and commitment. God also gave emotions of love that should follow the mental act of love else the emotional aspect becomes infatuation or lust. Love protects, cares, trusts, and delights in the best for the other. The husband initiates love ( Eph 5:25 ; 1 Peter 3:7 ). He who loves his wife surely loves himself.
The husband is to treat his wife with respect and considerateness ( 1 Peter 3:7 ). The husband bestows honor upon his wife. He always shows respect for her privately and in public.
The husband appropriately provides for and protects his wife. This does not mean that the wife cannot assist in supporting the family, for Proverbs 31 demonstrates that a godly wife may surely do so. The husband should always be willing to suffer for her safety.
The wife submits to her husband's headship ( Eph 5:21-24 ; Col 3:18 ; 1 Peter 3:1-6 ). Submission's basic meaning is "to submit or subordinate to a higher authority." It is a predisposition to yield to the husband's leadership and a willingness to follow his authority. The husband does not command the wife to do this. The verb implies that she does this voluntarily. Submission does not imply that the wife is inferior, less intelligent, or less competent. Christ submitted to the Father but was not inferior or less God than the Father ( 1 Cor 11:3 ; 15:28 ). Submission does not indicate that the wife puts her husband in the place of Christ. Christ is supreme in all things! The submissive wife does not give up independent thought. Believing wives with unbelieving husbands think independently, while still submitting to their husbands ( 1 Cor 7:13-14 ). She might seek to influence her husband for right and to guide him in righteousness ( 1 Peter 3:1-2 ). Submission never signifies that a wife gives in to her husband's every demand. If demands are unrighteous, she submits to her higher authority, Jesus.
A wife submits to her own husband. Relationships with other men are different in areas of submission and leadership.
Some feel that Ephesians 5:21 argues that the husband and wife are equally submissive. In its context the best understanding sees this verse as an introduction to three particular areas where people are submissive to one another: wives to husbands (vv. 22-33); children to parents ( 6:1-4 ); and servants to masters ( 6:5-9 ). Mutual submissiveness does not fit the latter two categories.
A wife should submit with an attitude of honor, reverence, and respect ( Psalm 45:11 ; Eph 5:33 ). A wife affirms and nurtures her husband's leadership. She submits in the same manner that she and the church submit to Christ ( 1 Peter 3:6 ). This analogy provides a good gauge. The wife demonstrates a gentle and quiet spirit ( 1 Peter 3:4 ), not demanding her own way or insisting on her rights. A wife's respect is primarily for the role of leadership that her husband occupies, not necessarily for his merits, though that would be the ideal. She recognizes the God-given leadership with regard and deference.
Effect of the Fall on Marriage. The fall made human hearts hard toward God and toward each other. The relational aspect of God's image became marred. Rebellion against submission to male leadership was Satan's initial temptation ( Genesis 3:1-6 Genesis 3:17 ; contra. Eph 5:33 ; 1 Peter 3:1 ). Male domination and harshness crept into leadership (cf. Col 3:19 ; 1 Peter 3:7 ). Sin caused polygamy, concubinage, incest, adultery, rape, prostitution, and all kinds of immorality (cf. Lev. 18, 20; Rom 1:26-32 ) to damage or destroy the marriage relationship. Marriage commitments are violated. Divorce, premarital sex, and couples living together out of wedlock would never have occurred had not sin entered the world. The fall severely damaged the marriage relationship.
For marriage to function now according to God's ideal, believers in Christ need to marry only believers. Whenever God directly brought a man and woman together in marriage, both were believers. Although pagan customs encouraged marriage with anyone (cf. Gen 16 ), Israel was given explicit commands not to marry foreigners who would lead them to worship foreign deities ( Deut 7:1-4 ; 13:6-11 ; 17:1-7 ; 20:17 ; 23:2 ). New Testament believers are also not to be "unequally yoked" with unbelievers ( 2 Cor 6:14 ), meaning any action causing the union of believer with nonbeliever, or nonbelieving ways, must be avoided.
Ralph H. Alexander
See also Divorce; Family Life and Relations; Sexuality, Human
Bibliography. G. W. Bromily, God and Marriage; L. J. Crabb, The Marriage Builder: A Blueprint for Couples and Counselors; J. Piper and W. Grudem, eds., Recovering Biblical Manhood and Womanhood: A Response to Evangelical Feminism; E. Wheat and G. Perkins, Love Life for Every Married Couple.
Answer:Before we dig into several aspects of marriage, it’s important to start with the Biblical definition of marriage. Marriage was instituted by God in the Garden of Eden at the time of man’s creation as a union between man and woman (Genesis 2:18-24).
1. The relationship is to reflect the image of God - Genesis 1:26-27 - "So God created mankind in his own image, in the image of God he created them; male and female he created them."
2. The relationship is fruitful - Genesis 1:28 - God blessed them and said to them, "Be fruitful and increase in number; fill the earth and subdue it. Rule over the fish in the sea and the birds in the sky and over every living creature that moves on the ground."
3. Monogamous relationship between husband and wife as stated in the original law - Matthew 19:5 - "and said, 'For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh'?" and - 1 Corinthians 6:16 - "Do you not know that he who unites himself with a prostitute is one with her in body? For it is said, "The two will become one flesh."
4. Husband and wife are equal before God - Ephesians 5:29-31 - "After all, no one ever hated their own body, but they feed and care for their body, just as Christ does the church - for we are members of his body. "For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh." and - 1 Peter 3:7 - "Husbands, in the same way be considerate as you live with your wives, and treat them with respect as the weaker partner and as heirs with you of the gracious gift of life, so that nothing will hinder your prayers."
5. Marriage is an indissoluble relationship except on the highest grounds - Matthew 19:9 - "I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another woman commits adultery."
6. Husband is the loving head of relationship and wife is subordinate - 1 Corinthians 11:8-9 - "For man did not come from woman, but woman from man; neither was man created for woman, but woman for man." and - Ephesians 5:21-33 - "Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything. Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her...However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband." and - Colossians 3:19 - "Wives, submit yourselves to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord. Husbands, love your wives and do not be harsh with them."
7. The relationship is fruitful - Genesis 1:28 - "God blessed them and said to them, "Be fruitful and increase in number; fill the earth and subdue it. Rule over the fish in the sea and the birds in the sky and over every living creature that moves on the ground."
In summary, we can see that Scripture tells us marriage is an intimate and complementing union between a man and a woman in which the two become one physically, in the whole of life. God's purpose of marriage is to reflect the relationship of the Godhead and to serve him. Although the fall has marred the divine purpose and function of marriage, this definition reflects the God-ordained ideal for marriage from the beginning.
"So God created mankind in his own image, in the image of God he created them; male and female he created them." Genesis 1:27
"That is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they become one flesh." - Genesis 2:4
The relational aspect of God's image is reflected in the bringing together of male and female in "one flesh".
This oneness with sexual differences portrays various aspects of God's image: same nature and essence, equal members, intimate relationship, common purpose, and distinct personalities with different roles, including authority and submission. In the Trinity the Father leads, the Son submits to the Father, and the Holy Spirit submits to both the Father and the Son. However, all three are fully and equally deity. Likewise, male and female in the marriage relationship are of the same nature and essence, equal as persons intimate in relationship, common in purpose, but distinct personalities with different roles: the husband leads and the wife submits to his leadership.
God's design for marital relationship is heterosexual, not homosexual, and monogamous, not polygamous. This relational aspect of God's image in marriage has analogues portrayed in Yahweh's relation with Israel (Isaiah 54:5, Jeremiah 31:32, Ezekiel 16:8-14, Hosea 2:14-20) as well as in Christ's relationship with the church (Ephesians 5:21-33, 1 Corinthians 11:1-3, 2 Corinthians 11:2; Revelation 19:7-9). Israel is portrayed as Yahweh's wife. Her idolatrous unfaithfulness and disobedience to Yahweh are frequently depicted as spiritual "adultery".
Human reproduction comes through intimate sexual union designed only for the marriage relationship. Cohabitation abuses the procreative nature of the marriage relationship. While reproduction is a divine purpose of marriage, some couples are unable to have children for various physical reasons. This does not make their marriage second-rate or inferior. However, a married couple should desire to obey the divine injunction of procreation if possible. Children are one manifestation of the "one flesh" of marriage. The procreative injunction obviously precludes homosexual "marriages."
There is nothing in Scripture that suggests there is just one person we’re ‘supposed’ to marry. Proverbs 31 urges young men to be guided by a woman’s faith and character in making their choice—there is no mention of second-guessing some divine destiny. In 1 Corinthians 7, the apostle Paul tells women (widows, in particular) to seriously consider singleness, but assures them the choice of whether to get married is up to them, and then specifically says women can marry “whomever they wish” as long as their potential husband is ‘in the Lord.’ (v. 39) If the Bible explicitly says, ‘it’s your call whether or not to get married’ (a sentiment Jesus echoes when he says some “choose” to become eunuchs—celibate—in Matthew 19:12, with emphasis on the word “choose”) and it’s entirely your choice as to who to marry, why should your subjective feelings and reasoning override living by the truth of Scripture?
There is, quite frankly, nothing in Scripture that ever tells us it is our sworn duty to marry one particular person. Whether we marry, and who we marry, are spoken of in Scripture as part of God’s “permissive will,” something he allows us to choose.(From: No, God Didn’t Tell You To Marry Your Spouse)
Lie 1: “If you’re not compatible, you may have married the wrong person.”
God’s truth says that marriage is a covenant relationship. Once you choose to marry, it’s no longer up for debate as to whether your spouse is the “right one.” Marriage makes them the right one, for it’s a commitment before God. It’s never to be based on shifting feelings, but a choice every day to love the spouse you’ve chosen to marry. In a world that often prefers to “trade in for an updated version,” this truth doesn’t make sense. But according to God’s Word it’s very clear.
"Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate." (Mark 10:9)
Lie 2: “If you’re not happy, don’t stay in an unhappy situation. You deserve more.”
For many of us, marriage can tend to bring our selfishness out like nothing else. We want our way. We insist on our rights. We want our spouse to make us happy, and right now! In the midst of demands, we’ll never be free to truly love and serve one another. Our focus will tend to be one-sided – our side – and what we want. Yet God’s goal for marriage was not just to “make us happy.” The truest picture of marriage is that it symbolizes the love of Christ for us. And His desire for us all is that we be made more into the image of Himself.
“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.” (1 Corinthians 13:4-5)
Lie 3: Marriage is a 50/50 relationship.”
Marriage takes two people, fully committed, choosing every day, to love and cherish. 50/50 will never be enough to see you through the toughest times. It’s only half effort and it seeks to compare what we’re doing with the other, always needing to check to see if they’re keeping up with expectations. This isn’t what God intends. His plan is a covenant relationship, centered in Christ, loving through Christ; that is what will carry us through both good times and bad. It will take the full effort of 100/100 to have a strong relationship which will thrive over time.
“Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never fails…” (1 Corinthians 13:7-8)(From: 10 Lies the World Tells You About Marriage)
In this over-sexed and under-loved world, people are looking for the real deal, the secret to lasting love with a vibrant sex life. Because of this pursuit for a purer passion, the most asked question we get when it comes to Red Hot Monogamy is, “What is okay with God?”
First and foremost, sex is for marriage. Ephesians 5:31-32 (quoting Genesis) "For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh." 1 Thessalonians 4:3–8 reinforces this with the reminder,“It is God’s will that you keep away from sexual sin as a mark of your devotion to him” (1 Thessalonians 4:3, GW).
For married couples, God gives only a few clear commands on what is and isn’t permissible with the gift of sex he created. Instead of a list of “no-no’s” let’s look at his guidelines in the affirmative:
You can say YES if you:
Yield to one another. Everything done is agreed upon. The goal of intimacy is unity. In Red Hot Monogamy we look at the 8 areas of intimacy and give tools to build intimacy in each area. Colossians 3:1 encourages: And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity. If you love, you will want to talk through and agree on expressions in sexuality.
Extend it in love. No one should ever feel forced or coerced into sex. The sex acts should reflect love, not demean or inflict pain. Sex is a relationship to be protected not a person to exploit. Hebrews 13:4 reminds: Marriage must be respected by all, and the marriage bed kept undefiled.
Secure it with privacy. Sex should only be you two alone. Your marriage bed is yours and yours alone (no other partners, no pornography, no mommy porn, no fake imitations of body parts). Why settle for anything fake when you can create the real thing live and in person? When it comes to grey areas, things not specifically forbidden, applying 1 Corinthians 6:12 is a smart choice:
Everything is permissible (allowable and lawful) for me; but not all things are helpful (good for me to do, expedient and profitable when considered with other things). Everything is lawful for me, but I will not become the slave of anything or be brought under its power.(From: Married Sex - What’s OK with God?)
“By this shall all men know that you are my disciples if you have love one for another” (John 13:35). Marriage is a significant institution by which a lost world can see Christianity in action. Marriage is the most intimate of human relationships in which husbands and wives learn to model Christ’s love. Marriage is the 18-year training ground for children so that they can also love “one another.” Marriage provides a unique opportunity to reflect Him as a couple. Marriage provides a platform for accomplishing God’s intentions for mankind. (From: A Biblical Perspective of Marriage)
1 Corinthians 7:1-40 - The husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband. The wife does not have authority over her own body but yields it to her husband. In the same way, the husband does not have authority over his own body but yields it to his wife...
1 Corinthians 13:4-7 - Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
Ephesians 5:21-23 - Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ. Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything. Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. After all, no one ever hated their own body, but they feed and care for their body, just as Christ does the church— for we are members of his body.“For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.” This is a profound mystery—but I am talking about Christ and the church. However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.
Proverbs 18:22 - He who finds a wife finds what is good and receives favor from the Lord.
Hebrews 13:4 - Marriage should be honored by all, and the marriage bed kept pure, for God will judge the adulterer and all the sexually immoral.
Genesis 2:22-24 - Then the LORD God made a woman from the rib he had taken out of the man, and he brought her to the man. The man said, “This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called ‘woman,’ for she was taken out of man.” That is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they become one flesh.
Proverbs 21:9 - Better to live on a corner of the roof than share a house with a quarrelsome wife.
Matthew 19:2-9 - Large crowds followed him, and he healed them there. Some Pharisees came to him to test him. They asked, “Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for any and every reason?” “Haven’t you read,” he replied, “that at the beginning the Creator ‘made them male and female,’ and said, ‘For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh’? So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate.” “Why then,” they asked, “did Moses command that a man give his wife a certificate of divorce and send her away?” Jesus replied, “Moses permitted you to divorce your wives because your hearts were hard. But it was not this way from the beginning. I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another woman commits adultery.”
Proverbs 19:14 - Houses and wealth are inherited from parents, but a prudent wife is from the LORD.
Read More Bible Verses About Marriage at BibleStudyTools.com.
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There are three commonly held beliefs about what constitutes a marriage in the eyes of God:
God sketched his original plan for marriage in Genesis 2:24 when one man (Adam) and one woman (Eve) united together to become one flesh:
In Malachi 2:14, marriage is described as is a holy covenant before God. In the Jewish custom, God's people signed a written agreement at the time of the marriage to seal the covenant. The marriage ceremony, therefore, is meant to be a public demonstration of a couple's commitment to a covenant relationship. It's not the "ceremony" that's important; it's the couple's covenant commitment before God and men.
It's interesting to carefully consider the traditional Jewish wedding ceremony and the "Ketubah" or marriage contract, which is read in the original Aramaic language. The husband accepts certain marital responsibilities, such as the provision of food, shelter, and clothing for his wife, and promises to care for her emotional needs as well.
This contract is so important that the marriage ceremony is not complete until the groom signs it and presents it to the bride. This demonstrates that both husband and wife see marriage as more than just a physical and emotional union, but also as a moral and legal commitment.
The Ketubah is also signed by two witnesses and considered a legally binding agreement. It is forbidden for Jewish couples to live together without this document. For Jews, the marriage covenant symbolically represents the covenant between God and his people, Israel.
For Christians, marriage goes beyond the earthly covenant also, as a divine picture of the relationship between Christ and his Bride, the Church. It is a spiritual representation of our relationship with God.
The Bible does not give specific directions about a marriage ceremony, but it does mention weddings in several places. Jesus attended a wedding in John 2. Wedding ceremonies were a well-established tradition in Jewish history and in Bible times.
Scripture is clear about marriage being a holy and divinely established covenant. It is equally clear about our obligation to honor and obey the laws of our earthly governments, which are also divinely established authorities.
When Jesus spoke to the Samaritan woman at the well in John 4, he revealed something significant that we often miss in this passage. In verses 17-18, Jesus said to the woman:
The woman had been hiding the fact that the man she was living with was not her husband. According to the New Bible Commentary notes on this passage of Scripture, Common Law Marriage had no religious support in the Jewish faith. Living with a person in sexual union did not constitute a "husband and wife" relationship. Jesus made that plain here.
Therefore, position number one (the couple is married in the eyes of God when the physical union is consummated through sexual intercourse) does not have a foundation in Scripture.
Romans 13:1-2 is one of several passages in Scripture that refers to the importance of believers honoring governmental authority in general:
These verses give position number two (the couple is married in the eyes of God when the couple is legally married) stronger biblical support.
The problem, however, with a legal process only is that some governments require couples to go against the laws of God to be legally married. Also, there were many marriages that took place in history before governmental laws were established for marriage. Even today, some countries have no legal requirements for marriage.
Therefore, the most reliable position for a Christian couple would be to submit to governmental authority and recognize the laws of the land, as long as that authority does not require them to break one of the laws of God.
Here are some justifications people give to say marriage should not be required:
We can come up with hundreds of excuses not to obey God, but a life of surrender requires a heart of obedience to our Lord. But, and here's the beautiful part, the Lord always blesses obedience:
Stepping out in faith requires trust in the Master as we follow his will. Nothing we give up for the sake of obedience will compare to the blessings and joy of obeying.
Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh. Genesis 2:24
It is not true that the Bible teaches multiple views of marriage, and therefore the Bible’s clarity is diminished on this question. The Bible does record, for example, that “Lamech took two wives” (Genesis 4:19). But the Bible is not thereby endorsing polygamy, but indeed is casting doubt on polygamy. The role of Lamech in the text is to show “a progressive hardening in sin” (Waltke, Genesis, page 100). We invented polygamy, along with other social evils. But God gave us marriage.
The Bible defines marriage in Genesis 2:24, quoted above. Here is what this significant verse is saying:
Therefore. This word signals that Moses is adding an aside to his narrative. It’s as if we are sitting in Moses’ living room, watching his DVD of the creation of the universe (Genesis 1) and of man and woman (Genesis 2). At this point he hits the pause button on the remote, the screen freezes, he turns to us post-fall people watching these amazing events and he says, “Now let me explain how what God did so long ago is normative for us today. Amazingly, we still retain something beautiful from the Garden of Eden.”
A man shall leave his father and his mother. In a culture of strong bonds between the generations, this is striking. A man’s primary human relationship is no longer with his parents or ancestors. He breaks away from them for the sake of a more profound loyalty.
And hold fast to his wife. A man, in marrying, enfolds his wife into his heart. He rejoices to identify with her: “This at last is bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh” (verse 23). At every level of his being, he becomes wholeheartedly devoted to her, as to no other.
And they shall become one flesh. “One flesh” is essential to the biblical view of marriage. It means, one mortal life fully shared. Two selfish me’s start learning to think like one unified us, sharing one everything: one life, one reputation, one bed, one suffering, one budget, one family, one mission, and so forth. No barriers. No hiding. No aloofness. Now total openness with total sharing and total solidarity, until death parts them. Moreover, Jesus explained that, behind the word “become,” God is there: “What therefore God has joined together . . .” (Matthew 19:6). He also made it clear that the word “they” in Genesis 2:24 means “the two” (Matthew 19:5), thus establishing one man/one woman as the biblical norm. What we see then, is that marriage is not a product of human social evolution; marriage came down from God. And he defined it for us. He has the right to. It belongs to him.
One mortal life fully shared between a man and a woman — this is marriage, according to the Bible, because Genesis 2:24 is not a throw-away line. Its very purpose is to define.
What’s more, the apostle Paul quotes Genesis 2:24 to take our understanding a step further — an amazing step: “We are members of [Christ’s] body. ‘Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh'” (Ephesians 5:30-31). Notice his logic. “We are members of Christ’s body. He loved us. He chose us. He gave himself up for us. He will present us someday in splendor. We are united with Christ now and forever. Therefore, our union with Christ is the reason why, a man and woman get married and live united as ‘one flesh.’ Human marriages are miniature social platforms on which the gospel is to be displayed.” The final reason why men and women fall in love and get married is because the whole human story is, most deeply, a romance coming down from above.
As first described in Genesis and later affirmed by Jesus, marriage is a God-ordained, covenant relationship between a man and a woman. This lifelong, sexually exclusive relationship brings children into the world and thus sustains the stewardship of the earth.
