What should i do if my boyfriend is losing interest in me?
Does he still love me? Does this mean he's seeing someone else? Is he losing interest?
Well, the truth is, he just may be drifting away, losing interest in you and your relationship.
RELATED: What It Means When A Guy Says He Needs Space, According To 14 Honest Men
But now is the time to save your relationship and breathe through things instead of desperately figuring out how to get his attention back.
You might think by giving him his space, you will lose him.
But trying to win his attention and affection back when he’s pulling away only puts more pressure on him and yourself. It also increases the possibility of putting more distance between the two of you and him possibly taking advantage of you.
During this time, you will feel confused, uncertain, and most likely a bit desperate. Trying to reel him back under these conditions won’t let you shine. And if he's having doubts about you, the energy of desperation that comes from trying to keep his interest confirms his doubts.
Instead, be still and pay attention to his actions while giving him his space. Don’t read into things, because you may misinterpret what’s really going on.
Without pressure, his true intentions will be revealed through what he does.
It’s possible that he may have realized how much he loves you — he may be scared, feeling overwhelmed, and is coming to terms with this. It’s also possible he's thinking of leaving you, and if that happens, things weren’t meant to be.
RELATED: If Your Partner Does Any Of These 7 Things, They've Probably Lost Interest In Your Relationship
Your self-esteem may take a hit.
If this happens, work on building your self-worth back up and getting to a place where you feel calm during uncertainty. Take care of things you have neglected, explore new interests, and get to a place where you feel okay with uncertainty.
When you feel okay again (i.e., no feelings of desperation, no negative energy), reflect on your relationship with him. Is he really the right guy for you, or do you have doubts? If you could design your ideal relationship, is what you have with him truly ideal?
Do you feel happy most of the time when you think of him or when you’re together? Or, do the times of unhappiness outweigh the moments of happiness?
Be honest with yourself as you may find that you may be better off without him.
If you believe in your heart that he's the right guy, let him come back to you.
Be your best self and respond accordingly. When he experiences the woman he fell for, this eases the doubts he has and may renew his interest. If he makes the effort, there's more desire for him to work through the issues that originally caused him to distance himself.
If you’re meant to be together, he will make his way back to you, and you won’t have to guess how he feels.
Whatever you do, don’t chase him. You should never have to chase, plead with or beg a guy to come back to you. You're worth much more than that.
If he doesn’t realize your value on his own, he doesn’t deserve to be with you.
RELATED: Why Your Boyfriend Wants Space & Exactly What You Should Do Next
The voice in your head and your heart wonders whether your partner lost interest in you already.
Feeling and knowing that the person you’re in a relationship with doesn’t feel the same way anymore is a tough pill to swallow.
It’s difficult, stressful, and confusing – and you’re wondering what you can do to save the relationship and bring his interest back.
Let me share with you how.
Go over this practical list if you can sense that the man you’re dating or your partner is losing interest.
Remember relationships go through different phases. Not feeling loved anymore can hurt, but this doesn’t necessarily mean it’s time for a breakup.
And better see this as a time to reflect on whether your relationship is working or where it’s headed.
Even a healthy relationship needs personal space to give room for growth. See this as a time so he can figure out what he wants and needs.
Though being ghosted feels awful, sometimes it’s not always personal.
If this person stopped calling or texting, it could be that he prefers communicating with you in person. Or maybe he’s dealing with something else.
While you want to get closer to your partner, it might push him further.
If you feel that this person needs space as things are going on with him or your relationship, give him that.
This doesn’t mean giving up or letting go. Just make sure to tell your partner you’re giving him space.
And avoid doing these:
When he’s ready, he’ll start reaching out. But when he doesn’t and decides to leave, remind yourself to keep going.
Now that you’ve given your partner the space he needs, do the same thing.
Use this opportunity to honestly go over yourself and your relationship. It’s time to focus on you.
Maybe you’ve expected too much from him and the relationship you had? Or maybe your partner isn’t the person you thought they were.
There are instances where you’ll realize that this change of heart wasn’t as sudden as you thought it was.
But if your partner isn’t interested in the relationship anymore, remember that feelings change, and you can’t force someone to feel the same towards you.
And instead of worrying that he doesn’t feel something for you anymore, find out what makes you happy.
While this article explores the main tips to deal with someone losing feelings for you, it can be helpful to speak to a relationship coach about your situation.
With a professional relationship coach, you can get advice specific to your life and your experiences…
Relationship Hero is a site where highly trained relationship coaches help people through complicated and difficult love situations, like falling out of love. They’re a very popular resource for people facing this sort of challenge.
How do I know?
Well, I reached out to them a few months ago when I was going through a tough patch in my own relationship. After being lost in my thoughts for so long, they gave me a unique insight into the dynamics of my relationship and how to get it back on track.
I was blown away by how kind, empathetic, and genuinely helpful my coach was.
In just a few minutes, you can connect with a certified relationship coach and get tailor-made advice for your situation.
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When your partner is losing interest, never act aloof, cold, or mirror his behaviors.
I know. It’s difficult to keep an open mind when someone’s drifting away.
But if you can do something, be more understanding. People love to be treated special and be appreciated, so pay more attention to their needs.
When you’ve known each other long enough, you’ll likely feel if something serious is going on. If you sense that something is bothering him, keep making him safe.
Support him, and hopefully, things will get back soon.
Make it known that you genuinely want to be there for him.
But when you do this, remember to keep your own needs in mind too.
Sometimes all we have to do is understand that life and feelings can take an unexpected turn.
Healthy relationships are strengthened by communication.
This is the best way to deal with the disconnection between you and your partner.
Maybe your partner doesn’t even realize that you’re feeling that way or that he’s taking you for granted.
When you fear what might be, just take a deep breath. By talking honestly, you’ll get to clear the air, know what’s going on, and see where your relationship is heading.
As Lisa Concepcion, certified professional love life coach and founder of LoveQuest Coaching, shared on the Insider website,
“Communicate on this immediately and not from a place of fear and judgment but curiosity, compassion, and understanding. There could be something else unrelated going on.”
In some instances, the reason could have nothing to do with you. Or maybe, it could be deeper than you think.
Remember to stay calm throughout.
If you feel hurt at some point, avoid getting aggressive and any form of confrontations. This can only make matters worse.
Communicating openly is connecting and acknowledging that something’s wrong, so you can both work on rekindling the relationship.
There are times when the reason why someone loses interest is when the relationship has turned to be boring.
While it’s normal for relationships to fall on the side and be complacent, you can try to shake things a bit.
Get him interested again and surprise him if you can.
See, even if you’re together for a long time means that you have to stop dating one another.
It’s time to pay more attention to the relationship to rekindle the deep feelings you used to share.
If you’re willing to reignite the spark in your relationship, put time and effort into making it work.
Do these things in hopes to strengthen the connection that you still have.
But if he remains indifferent to your efforts, it could be a sign that your relationship is in deep trouble.
If he’s losing feelings for you, it could be that he doesn’t feel like the hero he wants to be.
I learned about this from the hero instinct. Coined by relationship expert James Bauer, this revolutionary concept is about three main drivers all men have, deeply ingrained in their DNA.
This is something most women don’t know about.
But once triggered, these drivers make men into the heroes of their own lives. They feel better, love harder, and commit stronger when they find someone who knows how to trigger this.
So if he’s pulling away, it could be a case that he needs his inner-hero awakened.
Now, you may be wondering why it’s called “the hero instinct”? Do guys really need to feel like superheroes to commit to a woman?
Not at all. Forget about Marvel. You won’t need to play the damsel locked in the tower to make him see you as the one.
The truth is, it comes at no cost or sacrifice to you. With only a few small changes in how you approach him, you’ll tap into a part of him no woman has tapped into before.
The easiest way to do this is by checking out James Bauer’s excellent free video here. He shares some easy tips to get you started, such as sending him a 12 word text that will trigger his hero instinct right away.
All of that and more is included in this informative free video, so make sure to check it out if you want to make him yours for good.
Because that’s the beauty of the hero instinct.
It’s only a matter of knowing the right things to say to make him realize that he wants you and only you. Here’s a link to the free video again.
Instead of telling your partner what he’s missing, it’s best to show them to him.
So go out there and make him see you like the amazing woman he fell in love with. Make him remember how he used to notice your wonderful personality.
If he used to love seeing you in that red dress, wear it again on your date.
Maybe you can also recreate your earlier dates or get back to the “honeymoon” phase in your relationship.
Pay attention to how he reacts.
The trick here is to remind your partner what he loves most about you from the start.
Doing this can help reignite the intense feelings and attraction that was once there.
Work on creating an environment so you can reconnect by doing something you used to do.
Sometimes even just watching a movie, giving each other a massage, or going on a road trip can work wonders.
Locking yourself into a relationship just because you’re scared of losing the other person isn’t worth it.
A relationship where feelings are drifting away won’t be fair to you or your partner.
When you’ve shared your feelings with your partner and did what you have to do, but his feelings remain lost, it’s time to have a break.
Let this period be a way for you to work on yourself before jumping into something more serious.
See this as a way to look at the relationship from a distance.
This “time-out” works only when you’ve agreed to heal damaged wounds and agreed to meet specific goals.
But even a temporary break can be painful so you must know how to cope with it.
Here’s what to remember:
A temporary timeout doesn’t spell the end of your relationship.
Sometimes having a break is the best solution to save a relationship, but in most cases, this could lead to a breakup.
And this happens when one partner realizes that the relationship isn’t worth saving anymore.
This is the most important thing you have to know right now.
Your partner losing feelings and interests in you doesn’t reflect your worthiness.
Just because he’s drifting away or doesn’t want to pursue the relationship anymore means that you’re not good enough.
This doesn’t also mean that you’re not interesting. Know that you are.
You don’t have to change yourself. And that’s okay.
It’s hurtful as you’ve invested your time, energy, and feelings into your relationship.
This is what being with someone is about.
Having a relationship has nothing to do with one’s worthiness, only about their compatibility.
It’s just that things have changed or maybe he wants something else. Or maybe, it’s clear that he’s not the right man for you.
Some women who enter a relationship don’t realize that they’re making their partners the center of their world. When they do this, everything else falls on the side.
In the course of a relationship, you might feel like you’ve invested too much that you’ve forgotten yourself already.
The worst thing that you can do when your partner loses his feelings for you is to shut down.
Don’t stop caring for your life, your dreams, and your passions just because your partner is drifting away.
Alright, it’s perfectly normal to feel sad, disappointed, hurt – and feel all those emotions. But never allow any of those emotions to control you.
And yes, it’s okay to cry to lessen the hurt. But don’t let this stop you from living your best life.
Just do anything that will make you happy.
Just focus on being the best version of yourself. Because your life and your happiness matter a lot.
So get out there and keep doing your thing instead of sulking all day.
Remember what an amazing woman you are – with or without – your partner in your life.
Know that your self-worth doesn’t depend on someone else.
Instead of focusing on your partner and his dwindling feelings, focus on how you feel about yourself.
According to Daniella Bloom, divorce success coach and dating expert,
“When you start to show up differently for yourself, either your partner will stop and take favorable notice, or, someone else who is far better suited for you, will instead.”
See yourself as a wonderful woman and a great catch.
If your partner doesn’t see the amazing woman that you are or doesn’t feel like he’s the luckiest man in the world to have you, then he’s not the right one for you.
You’re far better with someone who appreciates you and all the great qualities that you have, right?
The right man who will value you is out there – though you have to value yourself first.
Because after all, you’re worthy of being chased and loved.
Realizing that your partner is losing (or has already lost) his feelings for you hurts more than words can say.
Remember that you can’t force someone to get those lost feelings back.
If you feel like you’ve tried everything and your man is still pulling away, it’s probably because his fears of commitment are so deep-rooted in his subconscious, even he’s not aware of them.
And unfortunately, unless you can get inside his mind and understand how the male psyche works, nothing you do will make him see you as “the one”.
That’s where we come in.
We’ve created the ultimate free quiz based on Sigmund Freud’s revolutionary theories, so you can finally understand what’s holding your man back.
No more trying to be the perfect woman. No more nights wondering how to repair the relationship.
With just a few questions, you’ll know exactly why he’s pulling away, and most importantly, what you can do to avoid losing him for good.
Take our great new quiz here.
If you and your partner want to revive the relationship and have a strong reason for staying together, then, by all means, work on it.
And when you’re meant to be together, he’ll find his way back to you.
Though there are instances where relationships can be fixed especially if the loss of interest is a misunderstanding or personal issue, it’s not that common.
If you're in this position right now and are unsure if you want to continue the relationship, it's important to remember that relationships can go through many different phases.
Just because you have lost feelings right now, doesn't mean that you can't ever get them back.
This article explores signs that you are losing feelings in your relationship and what it might mean. It also discusses things you can do to bring back the romantic feelings you once had.
Below are red flags that may indicate your relationship might need to be re-evaluated:
While these are just a few red flags to watch out for within yourself, they don’t always mean your relationship is over. If you’re willing to put in the work to reignite that spark, there are a few things you can do.
Several factors may cause someone to lose feelings in a relationship. These include:
Every relationship is different, however. In reality, many different factors may play a role. Over time, poor communication and diminished intimacy can contribute to further conflicts and problems that worsen this loss of romantic feelings for your partner.
If you are interested in trying to revive your relationship, there are ways to do so. The most important factor is that you and your partner want the same thing, whether it be relationship therapy or divorce.
If one of you isn't interested in salvaging the marriage, it will not work out unless you have a very strong reason for staying together.
Take some time to think about what that first phase of your relationship was like before you started losing feelings. Ask yourself what was different. Did you treat one another the way you do now?
Try to relive those moments, whether it's by going out on a date, ordering the same meals you would've eaten back then, or doing some of the old things you both used to do for fun with one another. These things may seem minor, but they can be essential in triggering your mind to remember how you felt about someone and why you felt the way you once felt.
Take some time to reflect on the qualities you love and cherish about your partner. Pay attention to things they do that bring a smile, like their sense of humor or how spontaneous they are.
If those traits matter most, plan for more fun together by exploring new activities in an exciting way. If it's not these qualities but rather friendship and affectionate gestures that make them great partners, then try connecting with them every day instead of letting other matters take priority.
In the early stages of a relationship, both of you are still seeing yourself as separate, so you maintain the aspects of who you are that make you feel fulfilled. Often, it's these same qualities that made you fall in love with your partner. Don't forget what it felt like for them to be your person.
We all have our flaws. Rather than focusing on your partners’ shortcomings, learn to accept them. And whenever you can express the things you cherish about your partner make sure to do so.
According to Kyle Benson, relationship expert, "the idea is to catch your partner doing something right and say, 'thanks for doing that. I noticed you unloaded the dishwasher, and I appreciate it.'"
Erin Leonard, PhD, says, "Getting close is easy but staying close requires that two people possess certain emotional capabilities. A discrepancy in emotional intelligence may cause a division."
Healthy relationships require both partners to work hard and empathize with each other in order to be successful. If one partner is not willing, it may cause an issue that needs to be resolved quickly before the relationship deteriorates.
Although it may appear obvious, many couples forget how to sit down and talk to each other. You don't need to be upfront and let them know how you're feeling right away, but small conversations can help you open the doors to those meaningful discussions later on.
When it happens, be upfront and let your partner know how you're feeling. Together, you'll be able to decide on how to move forward. With honesty and trust, communicating can give you the push you need to rekindle a relationship.
It's easy to stop paying as much attention to your partner as you did initially, but if you want to rekindle the feelings you used to share, it could be as simple as paying more attention to the relationship.
If you're married, remember that this doesn't mean you have to stop dating one another. Treat them the way you used to when you were trying to win them over. Think about what you used to do for each other and recreate those experiences, like where you went on your first date, things you used to do together, etc.
You might find yourself wondering if you can lose feelings for someone you love? You might wonder if you actually loved them in the first place.
It's totally normal to have times when you feel more or less in love with your partner. At the same time, it's painful to have stillnesses in a relationship that leave you feeling lost or doubting its future.
The question then becomes should you stay in a relationship if you lose feelings? If you're struggling in your relationship, at some point, you'll need to decide whether you want to put the work in or you want something else.
Only you can decide which path is right for you. Start by considering the pros and cons of staying together and what the future might look like if you decide to end the relationship.
As long as both of you are ready to fight for your relationship, couples' therapy can support you in making the changes and progress you need. An experienced therapist can help you recognize the areas that need improvement and help you learn different strategies to improve your relationship, such as active listening or communication skills.
Being transparent and honest will always be the most crucial step in strengthening the feelings and quality of your relationship. If you're unwilling to put the work in, consider meeting with a counselor on your own. They can help you make a decision and help you process how you can move forward.
At some point, if you still do not have romantic feelings, it's important for you to start accepting this reality and moving on. Your partner deserves a relationship partner with whom they can share love with. Nothing short of that will do, because they are worthy of a life filled with joy and affection.
- Focus on your own self-worth.
- Remind your partner why they were attracted to you from the start.
- Make an effort to understand your partner's needs.
- Communicate what you're feeling.
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