when cuddling what is the big spoon?

But really, times have shifted. Many couples feel free to explore and experiment with different spooning arrangements and – you’ll be surprised – there are unexpected benefits to each position.

True, little spoon is a more vulnerable and more protected position, whose benefits on a cold winter night cannot be overstated. And you don’t have to be the smaller person in the couple to enjoy those benefits. Everyone wants to curl up into a foetal position and to be held sometimes, even if you’re a 6’1 muscular hairy guy.

Some scientists even suggest that men who like being the little spoon make better partners. Steve McKeown, a psychoanalyst and founder of The McKeown Clinic, said to Unilad:

“Men that prefer to be the little spoon are more likely to be submissive, sensitive, pleasing and in touch with their feminine side. A male that is in touch with his sensitive side can be more compassionate and definitely a contrast from the traditional male. Sensitivity is a very important trait as relationships tend to be complicated and can be problematic in today’s stress driven society.”

According to him, a guy’s preference for little-spooning is also a sign of a greater emotional intelligence:

“So a male who is in touch with his feelings tends to be more emotionally intelligent than those who are not, which is a major plus point in any relationship as communication is key. It is also considered men who are sensitive spend much more time with a woman they adore and love, and it’s acceptable to expect a lot more compromise.”

The big spoon is traditionally seen as a protector position fit for a bigger and stronger person, but this outdated view belies many hidden benefits of this position.

Being the big spoon gives you more control of the situation. Specifically, you control the intensity of the contact, as well as where and how much of it is happening. It is also easier to just roll away without waking anyone up if you’re fed up and just want to sleep on your side of the bed.

If your partner sleeps hot and you prefer cool, the big spoon is also the position for you.

If they snore, being the bigger spoon will make it easier for you to catch some zzz’s (maybe) as, at least you won’t be wrapped in the into the thunderstorm of their breathing.

Finally, the biggest hidden big spoon secret? It’s like being four again and cuddling with your giant fury warm human-sized teddy bear. What’s not to like?

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The primary cuddling position is where you lie side-by-side with your partner but facing the same direction.

The “big spoon” is the one on the outside position while the “small spoon” is on the inside [1].

Spooning + Tomorrow Sleep (learn more) What Is Spooning What Is Small Spoon Cuddling How To Spoon Cuddle How To Spoon Video

Is there any difference between cuddling and spooning?

Cuddling doesn’t necessarily have a set position while spooning does.

Both are a good form of expressing intimacy because of the comfort and warmth that it brings. Cuddling and spooning may be interchangeable but it seems that spooning is preferred by couples who want a closer connection [2].

Spooning + Tomorrow Sleep (learn more) What Is Spooning What Is Small Spoon Cuddling How To Spoon Cuddle How To Spoon Video

Researchers note that big spoon and little spoon cuddling is the favored position by couples who have been together for three to five years [3].

Most of the time, it’s the male who acts as the large spoon in the all spoon cuddling position.

If the woman assumes the big spoon position, it might be a good indication that she is a very giving partner or perhaps that her partner requires more nurturing.

Here is another definition that describes “What is spooning?” The outer spoon or the large spoon offers a protective cocoon for the smaller or baby spoon.

Many times, this is the position that new couples assume as it can create a special bond [4].

Spooning + Tomorrow Sleep (learn more) What Is Spooning What Is Small Spoon Cuddling How To Spoon Cuddle How To Spoon Video

Are there any benefits to be gained when you go into a spoon cuddling position? It appears that the spoon position does offer several advantages.

Research indicates that cuddling or spooning may reduce the incidence of pain.

Experiencing the spoon position with your partner helps release more feel-good hormones and reduces stress. Less stress can lessen pain and chronic illness [5].

Another benefit to spooning is that it increases a couple’s sense of togetherness. Sharing physical intimacy can strengthen the bond between the partners.

What else can you get out of spoon cuddling? It appears that spooning is also good for improving your immune system.

This cuddling position can lower your cortisol levels since the act of spooning releases oxytocin, the love hormone.

Spooning + Tomorrow Sleep (learn more) What Is Spooning What Is Small Spoon Cuddling How To Spoon Cuddle How To Spoon Video

“What is small spooning?” Here, the couple switches the common spooning role. The woman (small spoon) takes on the position of the large spoon. Does this make a difference? Yes. Here are a few reasons to consider:

Less kinked necks. With traditional spooning, women may develop kinked necks in the morning because of the male’s arm’s position under their neck. It feels good. Many men like the feeling of being held. Both men and women can build a closer bond as they feel less restrained. Everyone needs nurturing.

Spooning + Tomorrow Sleep (learn more) What Is Spooning What Is Small Spoon Cuddling How To Spoon Cuddle How To Spoon Video

Did you know that there are different types of spoon cuddling? Here are a couple of different spooning positions that are easy to try.

First, the couple needs to decide who is the big spoon and who is the small spoon.

Both of you will be lying side by side with the smaller spoon nestled on the inside, and the bigger spoon hugging the smaller spoon close.

The small spoon’s back will be molded to their partner’s chest or stomach.

The position of your lower legs can vary depending on your preferences.

Another position on how to spoon cuddle is the ball and spoon where both of you lie side by side with the smaller spoon in a fetal position.

The bigger spoon’s chest or stomach should be nestled against the small spoon’s back with his lower legs stretched out to create more space.

This position is perfect for couples who want to enjoy physical contact with their partner while still having the freedom to move around.

This time, the lower backs of the little and big spoon are touching one another with each one facing the opposite direction.

This still creates intimacy and freedom to boot.

Now that you know how to spoon,(and for those that feel the need for a good cuddle), you should know that there are also spoon and cuddle parties.

Here, you can learn how to spoon cuddle and the benefits of touch in naturally and safely.

If you are interested in this, make sure that your cuddle party is led by trained and certified facilitators [7].

What Is Spooning Resources; [1]   Cosmopolitan; Spooning, Rose Surnow, November 16, 2016. [2]   Good To Know; Let’s talk about spooning, Sarah Allard, November 19, 2015. [3]   Diply; Cuddling Explanations Sleeping Habits. [4]   Parentally Challenged; What is spooning and what is your sleeping position?, Februrary 13, 2014. [5]   The Daily Edge; Spooning is actually really good for you — here are 5 convincing reasons why, September 28, 2015. [6]   Fibromyalgia Treating; Fibromyalgia Spoon Theory Explains Your Pain, Wyatt Redd, March 13, 2018. [7]   Cuddle Party.

You don't need me to tell you that spooning is The Best. Whether you do it to feel close to your partner after a nice lil sex session or it's your go-to sleeping position with your person, there's no doubt that spooning is a fave for couples for a reason.

After all, it's the classic cuddle position. Let's dive deeper into it, shall we?

Spooning is when a couple spoon-feeds each other peas until they both climax. Just kidding. It's what happens when two people lie side-by-side, butt-to-back. In the same way two spoons fit together, two bodies can do the same.

"The little spoon nests comfortably in front as the big spoon envelopes from behind. Generally, the big spoon's knees rest beneath the bent knees of the little spoon and their arms wrap around the little spoon," explains licensed dating and relationship expert Erica Cramer.

But keep in mind that spooning is way more than just a cuddle. It's intimate, vulnerable, and can release all those feel-good endorphins for both partners. "It's the ultimate vulnerability," says Cramer. "The big spoon engulfs the little spoon in a blanket of safety and security, the little spoon lends the ultimate trust—their back fully turned, guard down as they rest."

Spooning can also be used as a sex position. In the same way it works for cuddling, you can also have sex this way too.

For one, spooning builds major bonds with whomever you're spooning with. "It’s the quintessential comfort. An incredible, but non-essential, form of connection between two, resting bodies," says Cramer.

It also releases oxytocin, which is the "feel good" hormone known for making you feel real good. "Oxytocin can also help with stress and pain relief, and it is said to create a bigger bond between you and your partner," says Katie Lasson, sexologist at Peaches and Screams.

That's not it though: "Dopamine and serotonin are also released which cuddling, which can help with all sorts of things, such as mood and appetite regulation and sleep," confirms Lasson.

Lastly, spooning just makes you truly zen as hell. "It helps the nervous system and reduces blood pressure. Of course, when you lay next to your partner, your physical and emotional bond becomes stronger as well," says Lasson.

Sleeping in the spoon position makes for a super tricky way to fall asleep. If you’re Type A and everything irritates you, sleeping with a heavy flesh bag (aka your partner) draped around you like a human seat belt is low-grade torture. Especially if they tend to turn into an IRL furnace when asleep.

Keep in mind that it's perfectly okay to start out by spooning with your partner, then switching positions 10-15 minutes later. (You will still reap those good-good benefits without the sweat.)

Oh, and for the big spoon, they may be at risk for hair in mouth and an arm falling asleep, which is honestly just v uncomfortable.

Typically, the person who identifies as the more dominant partner in the relationship is the big spoon and the more submissive person is the little spoon.

It may also be more comfortable for the taller person to be behind in the bigger spoon position, says Lasson, but truly, it can go either way. Any two people regardless of gender, orientation, or even height can assume either position.

To be spooned, first, you and your lover get into bed, and lie on your sides. Then you scooch back until your butt is nuzzled into their genitals and their chest is pressed into your back. Feel free to buckle in by putting their arm around your waist. Isn’t that delightful?

To spoon your partner, all you have to do is lie on your side and wrap your partner, says Lasson, resting your arms around your partner's waist.

Spooning exists on a spectrum of innocent to sexy. Cuddling up with your doggo on the couch while watching Grey's Anatomy? Innocent. Cuddling up naked with a Tinder match, while their their genitals or hands rest between your thighs? Sexy!

What I'm trying to say here is that for people who can’t get enough of that sweet spoon life, there is also a way to have sex in this position. For hetero sex, you lie on your side with your person behind you and slowly back into their penis or toy or hand. It’s a great position for touching because he can use his free hand to massage your clit or play with your nipples.

Spoon sex is also an awesome position for anal penetration for both hetero and homosexual couples. In her book, The Ultimate Guide to Anal Sex for Women, author and sex educator Tristan Taormino notes, “This position is comfortable, flexible and easily maneuverable, and it gives both partners good control over the angle and depth of penetration; it’s an ideal position for partners of varying heights or sizes.”

However, she also adds that it’s not the best position for super-deep anal penetration, which, if you’re new to butt stuff, could actually be a plus.

When you're the “big spoon,” you wrap your arms around your partner while you're both lying close on your side; your stomach rests against their back. When you're the “little spoon,” your partner wraps their arms around you and your back rests against their stomach.

Spooning is very popular among couples. When you sleep with your partner, are you the big spoon or the little spoon? Do you each take turns cuddling in both positions?

For some people, spooning with a partner is their favorite position. For others, they prefer other cuddling positions.

It doesn’t matter which position you take. What matters are your comfort and preferences for sleeping beside a partner.

If you want the ultimate sleep experience when snuggled up with a partner, try the SONU Sleep System. SONU’s system was designed with couples in mind — wrap one arm around your partner while the other arm sinks into the patented Comfort Channel, taking pressure off your arm and shoulder and enabling you to spoon all night long.

Keep reading to learn more about being the big spoon versus the little spoon.

Spooning is not just a form of cuddling between two people. Did you know that it’s good for your mental health?

There are various benefits to cuddling. Here are a few.

Spooning, and cuddling, in general, can bring you closer to your partner. It can help you form a bond and build trust with each other. Couples who spoon tend to be happier in their relationships than those who do not. Spooning can give them a sense of safety with each other that they may not feel in other aspects of their lives.

Spooning with a loved one can help release oxytocin, the “happy” hormone. As a result, couples who spoon may feel their symptoms of stress and anxiety decrease when they are physically touching their partner in this way. We could all use less stress and anxiety in our relationships!

Spooning can help you prevent sickness. Simple touch has been shown to improve the immune system and protect people from various illnesses. People who hug tend to have a stronger defense against contracting the common cold. Who would’ve thought?

Spooning with a loved one could help lower your blood pressure levels, and it can be especially helpful during moments of stress. Embracing your partner can give you a feeling of safety, which in turn keeps your blood pressure from elevating. Lower blood pressure also reduces your risk of having a stroke or heart attack.

Spooning with your partner can help you sleep better. In a study of 90 couples, people in the spooning position fell asleep easily due to an increased sense of intimacy. If you are someone who cannot sleep while physically touching another person, you can still end up sleeping better if you spoon with your partner for a little while before bedtime.

If you want to mix up the way you spoon, try having one partner lie on their back while the other places their head on that partner’s chest. You can then wrap your arms around each other and embrace.

It’s possible to spoon while facing each other as well. To do this, the little spoon gets in the fetal position, and the big spoon embraces them.

The key differences between the big spoon and little spoon positions are who is being embraced and who is doing the embracing. It doesn’t matter which partner takes on which position. Ask yourself, “Do I want to be held, or do I want to do the holding?”

Being the big spoon can make someone feel like they are protecting their partner. If you’re the little spoon, you may feel safe and supported in your partner’s arms.

If you are prone to shoulder or arm pain, you’re probably better off being the little spoon. As the little spoon, you may be lying on your partner’s arm, which could cause it to go numb, experience pain, or become stiff.

One way to prevent this is to invest in SONU’s negative space mattress.

After reading this article, which position do you prefer? The big spoon or the little spoon?

Whether you’re the big spoon or the little spoon doesn’t matter. What matters are the benefits you gain from cuddling in this position, like increased intimacy, boosted immune systems, and lower stress levels.

Spooning couples will love the SONU Sleep System. Never before has a mattress included a patented Comfort Channel that helps alleviate pressure from your necks, shoulders, and arms. And each mattress even comes with four adjustable pillows, so you and your partner can maximize your sleep experience.

Don’t be shy. Visit sonusleep.com today and check out the SONU Sleep System.

Sources:

How Cuddling Affects Sleep | Sleep.org

5 Benefits Of Spooning & Why You Should Do It More, From Relationship Experts | Mind Body Green